best decisions ever

Source: bravegirlsclub.com via Elozia on Pinterest

Yesterday, I stumbled upon this blog post and was inspired to think of my answers to the question the writer posed at the end: what are the 5 best decisions you've made in your adult life so far?

As I lay in bed last night, I pondered the question. It didn't take me a long time to come up with the five best decisions I've made in my adult life so far.

1. Asking Reden out for a date -- If I didn't have the guts to ask Mr. Mateo out on a date (via wrongly sent text message), we would just be office buddies. Maybe we'd still be friends and communicating via Facebook but I wouldn't trade being married to him for that. Haha.

2. Seeking medical help to get pregnant -- During our marriage preparation classes, the couple who taught us advised our whole class: If within one year of trying on your own and you still don't get pregnant, seek help. They regretted not doing so themselves and ended up being too old for any medical procedure and adopting. I'm glad Reden and I were on the same boat on getting help from the doctors. Life with Ziv just feels more complete. I can't imagine not having him around.
 

3. Going home to take care of mommy -- I quit my job too. If I hadn't, I think I would've regretted it a whole lot. I'm glad I was able to care for her up to her final breath.

 4. Becoming a full-time mom -- Seeing my son grow up every second of every day is the most rewarding experience ever ever ever!

5. Sticking with Journalism -- I almost shifted to Economics but was too lazy to attend math classes during the summer. Turned out to be a good thing because had I pushed through with the change in course, I wouldn't have gotten close to my dearest and most trusted friends. I also wouldn't have become an editor and wouldn't have gone to work at Global Sources--where I met Reden.

Isn't it interesting how making one different decision can alter the course of an entire life?

Have a happy weekend!

lesson from the play mat

Ziv was playing with my violet colander earlier. After a couple of minutes of tapping and shaking, grabbing and turning it over, the kitchen item went too far for him to reach. He looked at me but instead of handing the colander to him, I asked him whether he wanted me to give it to him. He just babbled back while rocking on all fours so I told him, "You should go for it and reach it. You can do it." 

I continued to watch him as he tried to figure out what to do. I can see that his brain was ticking as he alternated between looking at the colander and looking at me, and after a while, he had his eureka moment!

Momma just had to take a photo LOL

Since he couldn't bring his body to the colander, he brought the colander to him. What he did was pull the blankie right under the colander and voila! Violet colander back within playing distance! I swear, I got teary eyed when I witnessed that moment. I am a proud momma! 

I guess I can also apply the parenting tidbits I'm learning now to when Ziv's already past his infancy. Had I decided to intervene and just hand the colander to Ziv, I would have robbed him of that learning experience. As easy as it is to just do everything for my son, I would have to remember to allow him to face challenges on his own. If I wouldn't give Ziv the chance to figure things out for himself, then I'll be doing him a huge disservice. Teaching independence starts now. On the play mat.

making time for happiness

It's so easy to get caught up with everything that needs to be done that we often forget to stop and appreciate the little things, the tiny moments that make up our life. 

Today, one of the blogs I regularly read inspired me to come up with a happy list of my own.

10 things that make me terribly happy 

(in no particular order)

drinking a cup of coffee (leisurely)

looking at and seeing pretty things (beauty exists everywhere!)
taking photos (camera finally getting lots of mileage)

weekends with my boys (doing nothing or a lot)
my husband coming home from work (usually with food!)
ziv smiling (always melts my heart)
sunny days (love the sunshine!)
getting the laundry done (folding them's another thing)
ziv napping (which leads to next item)
quiet time for myself (Facebook! Google Reader!)

Can you come up with 10 things that make you happy today?

diptych #1

I'm posing a challenge to myself: each Tuesday, I'd have to come up with a diptych. Let's see if I can rise to the occasion. I'll call this weekly thing Diptych Tuesdays. How creative, noh?

Here is the first one:

I took Ziv to the library with me today. We walked on our way there. Well, I walked and he rode his stroller. We did the same on our way back but when we reached the park down our block, he started complaining and wanted me to carry him. So, I picked him up and pushed the passenger-less stroller. Motherhood is hard work ha!

playground adventures

When Ziv and I went on our usual afternoon walk yesterday, there were a couple of kids at the playground. Ziv looked at them with excitement, as if he wanted to get down and play. Since it looked like he was enjoying watching the kids, I decided to sit on the bench and stay there for a while.

My son, watching the kids play

Ziv was bright-eyed and had a sweet smile plastered on his cute face, sometimes with his tongue stuck out. He was on my lap, busy with either tapping the armrest, my hands or doing his dance, which basically involved bouncing energetically with his arms out. I can tell he was amused and happy. I sure was.

I can't help imagining Ziv a toddler running around the playground, making me chase him or asking me to help him up the monkey bars or push the swing for him. I thought, how fun that could be. I'm really excited for him to grow up so we can do all sorts of things. Reden and I are already lining up a bunch of activities for him, such as a tropical vacation at the beach, a visit to the Singapore Zoo and Night Safari as well as a trip to Disney. Oh yes, his dad and I love to conjure plans like that.

Completely mine for now

Yet, I'm still quite content with Ziv's complete dependence on me. I love being able to carry him and hug him and shower him with kisses whenever I want. Akin ka muna, anak.

sleep baby sleep

Nowadays, I evaluate a day in terms of Ziv's sleep. If he sleeps till 7am from the previous night (not necessarily continuous), I'm happy. If he gets two solid naps of one to two hours each, I'm thrilled. Based on these criteria, today was a good day. 

He slept at 7pm last night and didn't wake up until 4:30am. I gave him a bottle, changed his diaper and then laid him back on his crib. He went back to sleep around 6am and then woke up to start the day at 7am. He took his first nap at 9am, which lasted for two hours, then his second nap at around 1:30pm. He woke up after 45 minutes though, but that's acceptable to me.

My son, sleeping soundly

See, I'm a bit (or maybe a lot) obsessed about Ziv's sleep habits. I actually monitor how much he sleeps so I know whether he's meeting requirements for his age. According to Sleepy Planet, a six month old infant needs an average of 13 to 15.25 hours of sleep consisting of 11 to 12 hours of nighttime sleep 2 to 3.25 hours of naps. Ziv usually clocks in a total of 14 hours of sleep. So far so good.

When I was pregnant up to Ziv's early days, I thought babies slept when they needed to. I wasn't aware of the rhythms and patterns of infant sleep. When Ziv was a newborn, he confused his days and nights, having his longest stretch of sleep (3 to 4 hours) during the day, waking up in the late evening then calling it a day at midnight then waking up almost every two hours to feed at night. Even so, I considered him a good sleeper for the simple reason that HE SLEPT. 

Things started to change during his third month, when he was hit by the 45-minute intruder. Sure, he started sleeping early (like around 9pm) and had nights when he would sleep through, but during the day, he would only nap for 45 minutes at a time! I felt shortchanged because I would rock him for 30 minutes, he'll fall asleep but then he'd be awake again after 45 minutes. After 90 minutes or less, he'd be sleepy again and the cycle begins. It was EXHAUSTING! That napping pattern didn't do any of us any good. Ziv was in a bad mood; I was in a bad mood and was starting to feel resentful toward my catnapping son. I knew something had to change.

I was also worried because I wasn't sure whether he was getting enough sleep so began the Internet scouring. Browsing and reading led me to my now go-to infant sleep reference: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. This book gave me all the important information I needed so Ziv could get enough quality sleep. It taught me to keep the intervals of wakefulness short to prevent Ziv from getting too wired to sleep; about the importance of teaching a baby how to soothe himself; about sleep cycles, early bedtimes and more. 

I started teaching Ziv how to sleep on his own when he reached his fifth month. We started with nighttime sleep before we moved on to naps, which were more challenging because daytime sleep gets organized much later. I didn't rock him anymore but still included feeding in our soothing routine for both naps and bedtime. After a while, his naps got longer and although he still wakes up at night, he falls back asleep on his own, without my help.

I know some parents might think I'm such a control freak. And I am. To a fault actually. Sometimes I get too caught up in wanting to set up a schedule for Ziv that I forget that he's just and still a baby. And when you have a baby, change is the only thing that's permanent. So even when I feel that our days are all over the place, I know I need to cut my Zivvy some slack. He needs room to grow so, instead of gunning for a fixed schedule, Momma here is content with a flexible routine. As long as my baby gets the rest he needs, any day is a good day.

don't leave me momma!

I think separation anxiety has already struck my baby. For the past few weeks, ze lil boy has started protesting about being left alone. Mom or Dad should always be within his visual range or else he will start fussing. When left unattended, the fussing will turn into a full blown cry fest, which, fortunately, can be easily remedied by picking him up.

Whenever I need to be out of his sight for a while, I try to reassure Ziv by always talking to him, giving him a blow by blow of what I'm doing wherever I am at the house, like "Mommy's just (insert biological function here)," or "Mommy's just getting water" and so on. But he doesn't seem to be appeased by these auditory assurances. He really wants to see me, or his dad, all the time.

According to what I've read, this is a normal part of a child's development and should actually be considered a milestone. It proves that he has already formed an attachment to his caregivers. But no matter how nice it is to know that he prefers me and his dad over anybody else (awwww), hearing Ziv cry when we leave the room or hand him over to someone else is quite unsettling. Well, hearing him cry for whatever reason upsets us.

Ziv's development is amazing because just a few weeks ago, I could easily hand him over to someone else with ease but as with all things baby, that's a distant memory. Already.

I think just last month, he didn't mind when his Ninang Map carried him, but yesterday, look!

Ziv was crying even if I was right there! He wasn't crying the entire time though. He alternated between fuss and calm, fuss and calm. He just can't fully relax, I think.

Internet sources say separation/stranger anxiety can last for two to four months. That's quite a significant chunk of time but it's good to know that this stage will pass. I don't want people to feel rejected or to think my baby is suplado. But I think, any adult who would think that has some serious issues. Haha.

To help Ziv deal with his anxiety, I always play peek-a-boo and "where's the baby?" with him. These games will help him understand object permanence, or the idea that even if he couldn't see someone or something, it still exists. I also don't give in to his protests and allow him to not see me for a while, especially when I need to pee/poo. When I come back, I see to it that I kiss or hug him or tell him Momma's back so he'll know that even if our separation was quick, I missed him too.

more breast milk please

I was contemplating on stopping pumping and just give Ziv formula for a while. I'm getting tired of having to insert pumping sessions into our already hectic days and I wanted to reclaim a even just a few minutes of time for myself. 

In the course of my Internet surfing though, I came across this and it made me change my mind. As of now, I've decided to continue pumping so Ziv can benefit from all the wonderful stuff breast milk is made of. Actually, my breast milk has protected him from the cold, which I've already caught twice! At both instances, I made sure to feed him freshly pumped breast milk so he'll get the antibodies. 

It feels good to know that something that comes from me makes my child healthy. Makes being attached to the pump 30 minutes, thrice a day worthwhile. :)

baby-proofing

I'm already pondering about baby-proofing our home because I know it's only a matter of weeks before littly Zivvy starts crawling. I don't know much about the subject because back in the day, when I was helping care for my then baby brothers, baby-proofing meant keeping a close eye on their movements. They weren't left alone except when they're in the playpen. But babies could only stay content in an enclosed area for so long. 

I am not even considering getting a playpen for Ziv. We don't have the space and besides, the floor is the best place a baby can test his limits and try new stunts. Thus, baby-proofing is a must. I'm doing my research now and hopefully the more information I read about the subject, I would be able to come up with a good proposal to my husband. 

For starters, we already have door stoppers, which we got for free from the hospital. But what I'm worried about are the edges and corners of the furniture. We have old-school wooden furniture and Ziv's play area is in the center of them all. We probably need electrical outlet covers too so those little fingers won't get inside the slots. We'd also need guards for the drawers and cabinets, and a gate for the kitchen. 

Hmmm. The list is getting longer!

Can I just have another adult in the house?

time flies when you're...

A) busy, B) having fun, C) raising a kid, D) all of the above.

My answer's definitely letter D!

It's been a week since all three of us have been back in Singapore. It feels like a month already!

Ziv did well on the trip back. He slept during half of the flight and contentedly played on my lap until we landed in Changi. He didn't resist his bottles too, taking them while we were taking off and landing, so I can say I have successfully prevented ear pain. He was a good boy, probably the only baby who didn't fuss during the three-hour flight.

Those three weeks in San Pablo sure passed by real quickly! I already miss my family. Aside from having the laundry and the cooking done for us, I miss constantly having adults to talk to. Back home my brothers and my aunt were always there to keep me company, and my dad and sister were there when they weren't at work. There was no shortage of conversation. Here, it's just me and Ziv during the day and obviously, the boy can't talk yet so our conversations consist of me talking and Ziv babbling or shouting or fussing. Haha.

Food gets everywhere except his mouth!

We celebrated Ziv's sixth month birthday last September 7. He's grown so much! He can do full push-ups now and I think he's getting ready to crawl. He's always pushing his butt up but still haven't figured out that he has push his torso up as well, so his primary mode of getting from point A to point B is by rolling. The boy's really active!

He can sit for a while without support, and I've started feeding him solids. So far he has already tried rice cereal, sweet potatoes and banana. He loves mashed banana the most. I've also introduced him to water, which he's so fascinated about.

We already have a pile of Ziv's newborn clothes ready to either be kept in storage or given away. His small Avent bottles have also been decommissioned and are now taking up valuable space in our kitchen cabinet. I still haven't decided what to do with all his stuff.

Reden is 30!

Last Friday was my dear husband's birthday. Right after taking Ziv for his second shot of pneumococcal vaccine and after Reden's dental appointment, we headed to the mall to have sushi for lunch. We rushed through the meal because Ziv was already getting fussy. He was tired and needed to nap so we went home immediately. On the cab, Reden and I reminisced about our pre-baby days, when we would spend the entire day hanging at the mall. I'm not sure if I miss those days. I'm okay with staying at home. Besides, Ziv is kawawa when we deprive him of proper sleep.

And I'm also still catching up with housework. I've been doing laundry for a week already and I'm still not done! Things just pile up when you go on vacation and it takes a whiiiiiile before you can get on top of all the chores. But we're gonna get everything done. Don't know when exactly but surely before we go on another vacation.

Happy 6th month birthday Ziv!

Here’s to the hard won babies.
The ones we fought for
prayed for
cried for
longed for.

Here’s to the hard won babies.
The ones who are known before they are made
and the ones who are wildly loved before they are born.

Here’s to the hard won babies.
The ones who seal the cracks in our soul with their simple existence.

Here’s to our hard won babies,
that have healed our hearts and brought us back.



Words by Casey Mullins