Monday, September 4, 2006

i quit

Today I leave Marlboro Country.

I need to start taking care of myself na. I need to quit smoking, I need to exercise. I'm thinking na everytime magkaurge to smoke, maglalakad na lang ako around the block or something.

Sana makayanan ko ang paglisan sa bayang kumukop sa akin since freshman year in college.

Bye cowboys. I hope I won't see you again. Ever.

misskobebekonitis

I miss Reden!!!

Naprove ko nang mahirap pala talaga ang long distance relationship. The last time kasi, I think my ex and I weren't really keen (bebe, how Singaporean, hehe) on making the relationship work. I guess we were tired of each other, having been together for five years, on and off. Pareho yata namin winish secretly na matapos na lang sana lahat para makamove on na kami pareho. Sure, there were tears, there was pain. Pero after a month, tapos na. Move on na pareho.*

Ngayon, it's different. I really love Reden (him being the perfectly wonderful person/boyfriend that he is) and I really want to make it work. And I guess I'm not the only one who wants that coz he asked me to marry him. And I said yes. Hehe.

Pero sometimes the distance and yung separation gets to me. Hindi rin nakakatulong that everything reminds me of him. Know that 80s new wave song? Always something there to remind me...

Kahapon nagsimba ako sa Claret tapos nag-grocery sa Eunilaine. Bad idea. Ganun kasi routine namin ni B nung andito pa siya. Sunday is simba and grocery day. Grabe, sobrang namiss ko siya ng todo at nagtakeover na lang ang kalongkotan. Hay. Hindi rin nakatulong na pagkatapos ng misa eh umulan. Ahahay.

Nakausap ko si Ems minsan via email at pareho pa kami ng word na ginamit to describe a long distance relationship: nakakaloka.

Synonym: nakakabaliw.

Potah talaga. Minsan di ko na alam gagawin ko. Nakakaloka talaga kasi alam mong wala ka namang magagawa. Andun siya, andito ka. Ganon talaga.

Tanggapin mo na lang yun. Realizing that, naiyak na lang ako. Yun na ata favorite hobby ko ngayon eh. Magngangawa. Hehe.

Di naman, minsan lang nakakatulong na iiyak lahat. Kasi nakakabigat ng loob yung hinahanap-hanap mo yung taong nakakapagpaligaya sa'yo.

Minsan nakakapagod din na mag-put ng brave na front, na ipakita sa world na kaya mo at okay ka lang. Minsan nakakatulong na namnamin yung sakit at lungkot ng pagkawalay sa minamahal. Tao lang naman ako kahit may pagkadiyosa minsan. Hehe. Joke lang.

Feeling ko durog na puso ko. Yez, drama. Hahaha.

Dinadaan ko na nga lang sa dasal. Humihingi ako ng strength at patience sa Diyos. Alam ko naman may plano Siya para sa amin at may purpose yung pagkakalayo namin sa isa't isa ngayon. Maybe it's to make us stronger. I always think there's a good reason for everything.

Hay. I just can't wait to be with Reden.

Miss na kita B!

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*Magpapakasal na rin pala ex ko sa September 14. Hehe.