my boy has opinions!

"Don't spoon-feed me mom!"

At lunchtime, I was trying to feed Ziv beef stew + brown rice but the boy wouldn't have any of it. Just yesterday, he ate two servings of the dish so I assumed today wouldn't be any different. I offered one spoonful after another but he either kept his mouth shut or looked toward another direction, usually opposite of where the spoon is. That's on top of whining and fussing, which I think are his eight-month-old-ly way of answering back.

I got so frustrated I got Ziv out of his high chair and put him in his playpen. We both needed a break. (Actually, I needed a nap!)

After a while, I decided to try to feed Ziv again so I put him back in his high chair. I attempted to feed him the beef stew, but he kept his ground. I finally conceded (Ziv 1, mommy 0!) and just served him his favorite puffs. Ziv devoured every piece and morsel of the thing! I guess he was interested in eating, just not with what I wanted him to eat and perhaps how I wanted to feed him.

Batang 'to may opinyon na ah! Aba aba!

Of course as a parent, I'd always think I know what's best for my son and would always give him orders directions, suggestions and recommendations (may difference ba? Hehe). But actually, I'd love for Ziv to have his own opinions and for him to feel secure enough to express them. It's just that now that he's so little and could barely stand up, I often feel I have to and can just shove everything down his throat, not just in terms of food, but in terms of toys and activities.

I got frustrated because I wanted to be in control, or more correctly, to control him. I overlooked the fact that Ziv is a person, even if he's small and doesn't even speak my language yet. He knows what he wants. He knows what he needs to do and when he needs to do them so I should learn to trust him. I'm here to guide Ziv, not program him like a robot.

Each day I'm learning that parenting is very much a balancing act -- a tricky one at that. If we're too overbearing, Ziv might grow up to be an insecure adult whose self-worth depends on the approval of others. On the other hand, too much leniency and Ziv might end up being a spoiled brat who feels entitled to everything.

No wonder there are a lot of messed up kids (and adults) out there. This isn't easy. But I'm glad that for now I only have a messy self feeder to look after.