Ziv's birth, according to his dada

Today is Ziv's first birthday. To celebrate it, here is ze hubby's account of the day our son was born.

 

We went to church the Sunday before Kat’s elective C-section. Although we had just started going to that parish, it is one place where I felt secure and comfortable amid our hectic schedule as we await the arrival of our baby.

Our doctor told us that our baby wasn’t gaining much weight inside Kat, so we had to deliver him the very day he became full term. She also said that a pediatrician will be on standby during the delivery, and cautioned us that there may be a need to bring our baby to the NICU.

Talking to our ob-gyne always made me uncomfortable. I know she cared about Kat and our baby but she can’t hide much of her panic over the situation—that is Kat’s preeclampsia and the baby’s failure to gain weight. On the bright side, scheduling the operation on the 37th week means we’ll become parents three weeks earlier than expected! I’m also glad that we are ready for any situation when our baby arrives.

After mass, we had a wonderful lunch at NEX, one of the nearer malls we frequent in the northeast. Despite the worries and excitement of finally meeting our little one soon, our meal was a celebration of a miracle about to happen. We savored that moment with Mama.

Kat’s C-section was scheduled at 7am so we checked in the evening prior. Before leaving our flat, Mama cooked one of her specialty fish dish to fill us up before we spend the night at the hospital.

As I carried our bags down the void deck, I thought, this is it! The next thing we know, we are handing over the admission slip to the nurse at the hospital.

A Pinay nurse received us, and informed us that the single-bedded room we requested wasn’t available. We can choose to upgrade to a bigger room so we can stay for the night or opt for a two-bedded room. If we chose the latter though, I was not allowed to use the other bed and would need to go home so we just went for the upgrade. For our first son, it was all worth it.

The hotel vibe of the room we stayed in made us forget that we were in a hospital. We even checked out the amenities before finally retiring for the night. I also stopped by the nurses’ station to ensure we get yummy food the next day. The nurse on duty told me they will be waking us up at 5am.

I fell asleep while reading the menu of the Subway downstairs.

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Someone knocked on our door. I checked my watch. It was 5 o’clock in the morning. Our room was facing the road and I can see from the window that it was still pitch dark. I let the nurse in. 

She had all the stuff she needed to prep Kat for the c-section. She instructed Kat to do her business in the toilet and take a shower if she wanted, and left.

After a few minutes the nurse came back to prep Kat. She said she would be shaving her, and would put a catheter in. Ouch!  I dared not to watch as the nurse prepped Kat so I decided to take a shower. I figured I won’t have the chance later. Besides, I wanted to smell nice and clean when I welcome our baby.

All prepped and ready to go!

Once the preparations were done, we went to the hospital floor where the operating theatre is located. I kissed Kat goodbye before they pushed her bed to the OR. I was so worried, even more than Kat, but I just knew everything is going to be alright.

I waited outside the OR. I wondered why they had several restrooms in the waiting area. I later realized they are useful if you are waiting and thinking and worrying at the same time. 

I watched at least five other patients—not necessarily going to give birth—being pushed to the operating theatre just like Kat. That just made me even more anxious. People accompanying them just come and go. I waited.

My thoughts were flying when I saw a tiny bed being pushed out of the swiveling doors from the operating theatre. “Mr. Mateo?” asked the nurse. I acknowledged. The nurse congratulated me, and told me the baby is okay.

Ziv Nathaniel was one of the most beautiful, miraculous life events I have witnessed. His red, big lip was prominent. While tiny and looking fragile, I noticed he was very active. Unwashed, his hair was curly and dark. He had long legs; I know he’s going to be even taller than me!

All my worries seem to have been flushed out, and it was replaced by pure joy and excitement. I was wishing I can savor that moment with Kat. During that time, I have no idea how she was doing, but I knew she was probably still under.

I accompanied Ziv to the nursery. The nurse told me to take as much photos of Ziv as I like. I alternately used my phone and our camera to take Ziv’s photos. I’m not very good at taking photos, so I took shots at all possible angles. I know that if I have taken below-decent photos, Kat’s there to fix them!

As a first time dad, I didn’t know that it is an SOP that the nurse will count the number of body parts of the baby in front of you. It felt odd, but I am glad Ziv has all body parts intact. And he has all essential crevices. No more, no less.

It dawned on me that Ziv was so tiny when the nurse started to fit him diapers. The newborn nappies were just too big for him. Ziv weighed less than two kilos. I just can’t wait for him to start taking milk and grow bigger, just like those bigger babies in the nursery.

See how Ziv's hair was curly shortly after birth and how new born nappies were too big for him?

A baby from the farther side of the room started to cry. Soon, it was an orchestra of babies crying. Of course, Ziv joined the fun and started to cry, too. For a small baby, he had a loud cry. With me taking more than enough photos and the nurse clearing me to go, I left Ziv in the nursery. I wanted to kiss Ziv but felt I might give him some disease or something.

I felt so proud leaving the nursery. I just wanted to share with the world that Ziv Nathaniel was born at 7:57am.

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I started spreading the good news to my family and friends. I texted Papa that Ziv was born and he’s a grandpa of a Mateo. I probably texted everyone in my phone book that morning. But there was one text that I was really happy receiving—Mama was on her way to the hospital!

Here’s a bit of back story. The night before Kat’s delivery, I needed to talk Mama into going to the hospital on her own. She hesitated as she has never has ridden a taxi on her own--in her entire life. I told her Singapore taxi drivers are way better than cab drivers back home.

I was unable to convince her, but I left her the hospital address and some cash so she could take the taxi on her own. Just in case she changed her mind.

She did!

I welcomed Mama at the hospital lobby. I’m glad I finally got to see family. She expressed how happy she was that Ziv was alright. We are all thankful to God.

We went to the room. Shortly, Kat arrived, all groggy, but she is alright. I am so happy to see her. She calmly asked where our baby was and I told her that the nurses are still cleaning him up. She asked, did he cry out loud? Yes, he did! Now I realized that a loud cry is a healthy cry.

Excited, I told Kat, “our baby has curly hair, just like you!” I always wanted to be curly-haired when I was a kid. Then Ziv finally arrived in our room, all clean. I realized that he has black, shiny, straight hair after all.

First family photo

I loved that moment seeing our baby, with Kat finally beside me.

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Later, when Ziv was taken back to the nursery, the nurse asked us if we will allow feeding formula milk. I knew Kat wanted to breastfeed exclusively but the nurse told us that Ziv’s blood sugar is getting low, so we decided to feed him formula. I visited the nursery and picked milk. I chose the milk that the nurse claims to be the choice of most Filipino parents.

Kat’s milk hasn’t come in yet on Ziv’s birth date. I can feel the pressure and anxiety from her. I know she wanted to give the best nutrition to our baby, but her body chemistry probably wasn’t in sync yet. Just like Ziv being born healthy, I just know everything will be alright. We just needed to give it some time, and everything will flow well.

I then went to the business office of the hospital to register Ziv’s birth. This is an essential step in Singapore as everyone has an identity number. While I waited, I am just glad that it is so convenient that we can register the birth on site. It will be cheaper if I opted to visit the immigration office, but the convenience is all worth it. Come to think of it, Kat and Ziv needed me more now.

That evening, I brought Mama home then went back to the hospital. There was a thunderstorm that night. It was the perfect weather for sleeping, but Kat and I just couldn’t. We figured both of us were so excited! We asked if we can have Ziv in the room. The nurse brought him in the room. He was peacefully sleeping in his tiny bed. We watched him in awe, it was just magical. That moment was pure bliss, my first night with my very own family.

I love being a dad; YOUR dad, son.

ziv's story, part 2

What I thought was going to be a healthy and uncomplicated pregnancy turned out otherwise.

During a routine scan sometime around the second trimester, my ob-gyn said I had placenta praevia. My placenta was hanging low, close to my cervix, which means I can't push the baby out. If it didn’t move up as the pregnancy progressed, I would have to undergo a c-section. Since there was a risk of bleeding, the doctor advised me not to exert too much effort.

When I reached week 21, my ob-gyn checked the placenta’s position again. It was still lying low. Fortunately, everything went really well. There wasn’t any spotting or bleeding. It was certain though that I would have to deliver the baby via c-section. I thought everything would be smooth sailing from there.

31 weeks pregnant, oblivious to what was to come

However, during my prenatal check-up on week 32, my blood pressure was higher than normal. My ob-gyn also noted that the baby’s tummy wasn’t growing as much as it should, which may be due to my blood pressure or the placenta praevia. But she told me to relax. She said we should give the baby some time to catch up and that perhaps my blood pressure will normalize.

Neither of those two happened.

Instead, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. My blood pressure continued to skyrocket, my highest being 160/110, which necessitated a trip to the emergency room. My uric acid level was higher than normal too and protein was leaking through my urine. My doctor made me take medications to control my blood pressure and told me to rest as much as possible. And since the baby wasn’t growing as he should, she said it might help if I lie down on my left side to allow more nutrients to flow from the placenta to the baby.

When it was clear that my condition was too risky for me and the baby, my ob-gyn told me we’d have to perform the c-section as soon as I reach week 37.

D-day
The operation was scheduled on March 7, when I exactly hit my 37th week.

Even if I was going to undergo a scheduled c-section, I still created a birth plan. The one-page document stated that I preferred to have an epidural instead of general anaesthesia and I wanted Reden to be there during the operation. I wanted the screen lowered once the baby is out so I can see him. If the baby was doing well medically, I wanted him to be brought to me immediately. I wanted Reden to cut the umbilical cord. All these demands seemed reasonable to me but I was prepared to be flexible because I know births rarely go as planned.

I presented my plan to my ob-gyn, and after skimming through it, she said, “I prefer you to be completely under.” She explained that she didn’t want to risk my blood pressure rise again due to nerves. I just agreed with her so general anaesthesia it is. But since I will be unconscious throughout the operation, it meant that I won’t see the baby immediately, Reden won’t and can’t be there, which meant he wouldn’t be able to cut the baby’s umbilical cord. That’s four items off my plan! But anyway, these changes were acceptable to both Reden and me.

We checked in at Mount Alvernia Hospital on the evening of the 6th. My c-section was scheduled at 7 the following morning. I was both excited and nervous. Excited because I would finally meet my little one, nervous because it was possible he might need to stay at the NICU. Nevertheless, I managed to get some shut-eye for a couple of hours.

I woke up at 5am. I took a shower and then the nurse prepped me for the operation (btw, catheter insertion was hell!!!). It was almost 7 when I was wheeled into the operating theatre. Last I looked at the clock before going under, the time was 7:45.

All prepped for the c-section

When I woke up from my anaesthesia-induced stupor, first thing I heard were the nurses congratulating me. “The baby is healthy,” they said. I was still groggy but I managed to look at the clock. It was already 9am and it was all over. My son arrived into this world at 7:57am.

I was then wheeled back into our room. When I got there, mama and Reden were waiting for me. The first thing I asked was “Where’s the baby?” They said he was being bathed at the nursery and will be brought to our room as soon as possible.

When I saw our little boy for the first time, I fell in love, if not infatuated, with him instantly. It was like a high school crush. I couldn’t get enough of him and wanted to be around him all the time. I couldn’t take my eyes off him and when I held him, I felt my heart overflow with love and joy and gratitude.

Ziv weighed only 1.9kg when he came out; first family picture :)

We named him Ziv Nathaniel. Ziv means radiance, brilliance or light of God, while Nathaniel means God has given. He definitely lived up to his name.

We stayed at the hospital for three days and I ended up throwing my entire birth plan out the window. I originally planned to breastfeed exclusively but Ziv never latched on so we had to give him formula. I wanted him to room in with us, but I was too tired and I wanted to be able to rest so I let him stay at the nursery. We didn’t plan for him to be circumcised, but we opted to do it anyway. Nothing went as planned!

Recovery was definitely not easy for me. On the day I delivered, I didn’t feel any discomfort because pain relief meds were coursing through my veins. The following day, when they finally removed the IV, the pain caught up with me. I got so overwhelmed by it all I broke down on our second night at the hospital. I was tired and uncomfortable and frustrated that I couldn’t breastfeed. I felt sorry for little Ziv because I wasn’t able to feed him. Thankfully, Reden was there to comfort and encourage me.

In the end, what mattered was that Ziv was healthy. We were able to take him home and were able to carry, kiss, feed, bathe and rock him to sleep. He was ours and after all the challenges we had to face, he is finally here.

ziv's story, part 1

This day last year, I peed on a stick.

It was something I’ve done many times before. A line shows up on the control window almost instantly. I expected that. I wait for three minutes more just to be sure. When I checked the stick again, there was another line. A line I’ve longed to see but never did. It was on the test window. My heart pounded. I checked the box again. Two lines meant positive.

Despite being in a state of shock, I managed to get out of the bathroom. I burst into our bedroom and woke my sleeping husband up. I shared the unbelievable news with him. “B! Positive!” Reden, still groggy and disoriented, managed to say “Ha?” And so I told him again, “Positive!” and showed him the stick. He got up and we hugged. I almost cried.

But we wanted to be sure so we did a test the next day and another on the day after that. Both were positive. Three tests mean there’s no doubt about it so we decided to call the hospital and arranged for an appointment.

Three positive pregnancy tests surely mean one thing.

We were pregnant.

Finally!

Fertility treatment
Pregnancy wasn’t an automatic thing for us. When we were finally ready to have a child (around 2008), we tried hard to get pregnant. After a year, our efforts proved futile so we decided to seek the help of fertility specialists. We underwent a number of physical examinations and blood tests until the doctors concluded that it was me. I was not ovulating.

The doctor prescribed three five-day cycles of Clomiphene Citrate aka Clomid. After each cycle, I was required to come down to the clinic for a blood test which will determine whether I ovulated or not. If this doesn’t work, they’ll have to do a scan to check if my fallopian tubes were blocked.

I began treatment in May. I didn’t ovulate on the first cycle so I had to increase my dose from 30mg to 60mg for the following month. Once I finished the second cycle, the blood test showed that I still did not ovulate.

Undergoing a fertility treatment is no walk in the park. It’s difficult physically, emotionally and mentally. Clomid kinda made me crazy because it did something to my hormones. Plus, going on all those trips to the hospital was nerve-wracking. You want to expect a positive result but at the same time you don’t because when you hear the opposite, you’ll just be sad. Being in that situation was definitely challenging so after having two unsuccessful cycles, I was tired and frustrated. I was ready to consider other options (a childless marriage, a nomadic existence, pet ownership or adoption).

But before giving up, we had one more cycle to go. I waited and waited for my period to come so I can finally start taking the drug. It didn’t come. The medication worked.

Ectopic scare
After three positive home pregnancy tests, we went to see the doctor on the 23rd. We were giddy and excited. He congratulated us and told us to ignore the blood tests. If three pregnancy tests say I’m pregnant, then I am. He then ordered a sonogram to check if everything is developing normally. Reden and I proceeded to the antenatal monitoring clinic.

Since I was just 4.9 weeks amennorhoeic, the technician said she needed to do a transvaginal instead of an abdominal scan. After a couple minutes of probing, she told me, “Cannot see the baby today.” Thoughts of what could possibly go wrong (ectopic pregnancy? False positive?) immediately went through my head. We then went back to see the doctor, who then ordered for an HCG blood test. Reden and I left the hospital with our hearts in our mouths. When we got home, I cried. If this was a joke, then it wasn't funny.

That evening, the hospital’s 24-hour clinic called me and told me my HCG level was 1,000, which is high. The nurse instructed me to go back to the clinic the following day for another blood test, and maybe another ultrasound scan.

So we went to the hospital on the 25th for one more blood test. The results showed that my HCG level has doubled in the last 48 hours, which confirmed that I was pregnant. The on-call gynaecologist performed an ultrasound scan on me and there it was, a gestational sac with a teeny tiny yolk. I was so relieved! The doctor gave me a printout of the beginnings of our baby and told me that this will be a healthy pregnancy.

Ziv's first picture :)