We went back to San Pablo from Manila on November 4. We all took care of mom, made sure she took her meds at the right time. She was asleep most of the time, waking up only to eat a little, watch a bit of TV, chat for a short while and take her medicine. She also threw up a lot of liquid, even if she was already taking an anti-emetic.
There were times when she would be irritated if I push her to take three or four pills in successive hours. “Eh oras na eh!” I’d tell her. I can see from her eyes that she was tired, that she didn’t want to live like this.
On Friday morning, she complained about feeling cold so I asked Dr. Luna if this was a side effect of the treatment. He called me and told me to take mom to the hospital so the doctors can evaluate. We followed his advice and decided to take mommy to SPCMC. It was very challenging to put her in the pick-up because she couldn’t stand up anymore. She was dizzy and was very pale. For some reason, she asked me to call Tita Gina and tell her to be there at the hospital. I asked her why and she said “basta papuntahin mo.”
It was chaos at the ER. Mom was having tummy and back pains all at once. She didn’t want to take her Oxycontin, didn’t want to be IV-ed and didn’t want to eat. When she was taken into her room, she was hysterical and complaining of pain everywhere! She also had very low blood pressure so they put a nasal cannula on her, which was connected to an oxygen source. The doctor also gave her pain medication through IV but it didn’t have any effect on her. She was restless and was in drama mode. She said it was better to die than to feel that kind of pain, and that we couldn’t understand the pain she was in.
I was trying to make her eat something and when I raised my voice, she apologized. “Ate, magsosorry ako sa’yo.” That’s what she said. I didn’t know for what but I told her it was okay.
That afternoon, some of her friends from high school (Tita Menchitt, Tita Nanette and Tita Nini) visited her. She wasn't able to speak with them but she did recognize who they were. Nahiya pa because she felt she wasn't presentable. "Nakakahiya naman sa girls," she said.
Mom was maligalig that whole evening and didn’t sleep at all. She kept dad up all night as well so early Saturday morning, dad texted me and asked me to come to the hospital early. I was up by 5am and was at the hospital by 6am.
When I got to mom’s room, I found her hallucinating and saying things like “Daddy bless me.” Later on she began shouting (at the top of her lungs) nonsense (well to us, at least). I remember her saying “misua.” I was scared because I thought something went wrong in her brain and she’ll be like this forever na!
The doctor came and told us he will refer us to an internist so they can get some blood work done on mom. At around 9am, mom began calming down. I thought she was going to be okay but her breathing didn’t go back to normal. Her blood pressure also remained very low (they constantly checked).
I knew then that it was going to be the day. Lia and I were already crying at that point. I whispered to mom that it’s okay; she can rest now and we’re going to be okay. Then I asked dad, who went home to take a shower, to come back to the hospital soon because mom was getting very weak. When he came back, the resident doctor spoke to him and asked him if we wanted to put mom in the ICU. I told him no because mom was already exhausted.
Right after we’ve made the decision, mom stopped breathing. The doctor and nurses came in and tried to revive her but to no avail. She was gone, and the ECG confirmed it. There was nothing but a flat line. Mom was gone. It was 10:02 on a glorious Saturday morning in November.
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