It was around 2pm when I was finally able to talk to the doctor. He asked about mom’s history and checked the CT scans, the MRI results and the medical reports. When he was done, he said the diagnosis was correct and the only way to treat the disease was through chemotherapy. He explained everything clearly and gave us three drug combinations to choose from and told me that he hoped mom and the family will decided to go with chemo.
I could have broken down right there or when I went out the office or when I walked with Marge back to the LRT station but I was calm. I was sad but really felt strong from there to the entire duration of the bus ride home. On the way, I thought about the best way to break the news.
My siblings plus Tita Gina were with mom when I got back to the hospital. I felt anxious about revealing what the doctor told me but I know I had to get it done. I found it difficult to open my mouth but after I managed to say “Ayun nga. Tama naman ang diagnosis,” everything came out easily. Mom was calm but I could see she was sad and scared, too.
Dad was done with his planning meeting and came back that evening. We all talked and eventually decided to go with chemotherapy. We chose the Cisplatin + Paclitaxel combination.
We couldn’t waste time so I called Dr. Luna that Thursday and told him about our decision. He asked for my mom’s weight, height and age, calculated the dose needed and immediately ordered the drugs. They will be delivered to us directly once mom is admitted at Manila Doctors Hospital.
If mom was going to have at least six sessions of chemotherapy, then I needed to be there. So that day, I sent an e-mail to my office and filed my resignation. I requested for a waiver notice period, which they granted.
Mom was fine throughout the day. Kuya Jon and Auntie Myrna even visited her. She told them the truth. I admired her courage. In the late afternoon, however, she complained again about stomach pain. She kicked and banged the wall, screamed and sobbed. She was given medication but it didn’t work immediately. I couldn’t help but cry myself. I prayed and prayed that the pain subside soon. I think it did, eventually. I can’t remember anymore.
Upon mom’s discharge from SPCMC that Friday, we went straight to Manila so she can be admitted at Manila Doctors. She wore her brace so she could sit comfortably throughout the 2-hour journey. She was alright for the most part but when we were at Osmeña Highway, she complained of tummy aches again. Fortunately, the traffic wasn’t so bad that day and we soon found ourselves at Manila Doctors.
The nurse took mom to imaging for an x-ray before he led us to our room. Just as we were settling down, B arrived! I was so glad to see him I almost cried when we hugged! His embrace was just what I needed.
The nurses prepped mom for the chemo session. They put her on IV, checked her vitals and did more tests overnight. They gave her various pre-chemo meds too.
The first session began on Saturday, October 31. It was done by Monday morning but not without several flushes on mom’s IV (which made her grab my hand and squeeze it until it was blue).
Before we were discharged, the doctors often checked on her vitals. The pain management docs came up with a schedule of taking Oxycontin and Oxynorm so that she won’t feel any kind of discomfort. The goal, they said, is for mom to not feel any pain. Since she was heavily reliant on drugs, she was just asleep most of the time.
At that point, she couldn’t eat as much as she used to because she was throwing up. She was still constipated, and the edema got worse. The swelling has gone from one leg to both legs and her tummy. And every morning upon waking up, her breasts would be swollen too.
She was cleared for discharge by Tuesday but we didn’t go home until Wednesday. Just before we left, she complained that she finds it hard to swallow. The nurse said it might just be a psychological symptom.
At that time, it seemed to me that her body was slowly shutting down. I knew she wasn’t going to get well and what we were doing was just managing the disease. But I strived to focus on taking care of her. I just wanted her to be comfortable and if possible, enjoy the remaining days of her life.
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