weekend highlights

Saturday was mainly spent here at home. We went to market and bought fresh chicken and veggies. I cooked tinola for lunch because I wanted and needed to eat something nutritious. I had a plugged duct.

Again.

This time on my left boob. The first one was on the right breast a few months back. I think that was July.

Anyway, I woke up with tenderness and lumpy engorgement on my left breast last Friday morning. It was painful, but not as painful as the first time I got a plugged duct. I pumped as usual (30 minutes, thrice a day) and it got better but then it would go back. I managed to get through the whole of Friday and even got some sleep despite the discomfort. I worried about it progressing to mastitis though so I planned to stay home and tackle it the whole of Saturday. This duct needed to be unplugged!

I took a hot shower that morning then I applied a hot compress before pumping. I also massaged the area so I could encourage the milk to flow. I pumped and the lumps would get smaller but the plug was still there.

I managed to get a two-hour nap after lunch, which felt really good. It's been a while since I had that. After that, I pumped again.

Then, we left for Thomson Plaza. We had meryenda at Wang Cafe. We had mee rebus, kaya toast with soft boiled eggs, kopi and teh. Afterwards, we shopped for groceries at Fairprice Finest then went home.

Clockwise from top left: kopi, soft-boiled eggs, kaya toast, mee rebus and teh

I wanted to resolve the plugged duct situation before going to bed, because I seriously didn't want it to develop into mastitis. I took a hot shower again, massaged it with a large-toothed comb, applied hot compress before pumping then massaged it while I pumped. It didn't seem to get better this time so I inspected my nipple.

There it was, in it's white, pimply glory. A bleb. I was happy to find that bleb because then I knew what I had to do to unplug the duct.

I took a needle, sterilized it with alcohol and then pricked the damn blister. Thin foremilk oozed out of it immediately and then came comfort. Mission accomplished! I slept well that night.

We woke up to really fine weather on Sunday so I told my boys we'll be having a picnic at the park. I packed peanut butter and mango jellly sandwiches for me and ze hubby, filled a thermos with coffee and brought pear puree for Ziv. We went down and sat at one of the park's benches.

There weren't many people in the park, unlike during weekdays when it's filled with seniors exercising at the elderly workout area or doing tai chi. It was quiet and peaceful; perfect for an impromptu family picnic.

Then right after Ziv's morning nap, we made our way to Orchard to search for the perfect workout bra for moi. I needed a new one which will fit my lactating boobies. But before embarking on what turned out to be an epic quest, we filled our tummies at Food Republic, Wisma Atria. We had Korean food and dim sum! We then hung out at Starbucks since ze hubby wanted to use the voucher for free Christmas coffee.

Clockwise from top left: Chapchae and Kimbap (Korean sushi rolls); Dada and Ziv at Food Republic; yummy dimsum; chicken briyani; Ziv drinking his Starbucks (nah, it's empty); Dada and Ziv hanging out at Starbucks

After a hearty lunch, we headed to Paragon to check out Marks & Spencer. I thought of getting a workout bra from there since they usually carry big sizes, but turned out they had limited sizes and stock. From that branch, we walked to the Centrepoint branch. I still didn't find my size so I decided to take a look at Triumph at the department store. Still no luck.

I wanted to give up and just eat ice cream but ze hubby said we should check out Stadium at 313@Somerset. There I tried bras from adidas, Nike and Reebok. Fortunately, an adidas bra fit me so we purchased it right away. To celebrate, we headed to the food court to grab meryenda. We ended up eating chicken briyani!

After all that food trip, breaking in the workout bra is a must!

bonding with ze hubby

Last night, ze hubby and I caught the latter part of this B movie called Sharktopus. We had a good laugh over the silly plot, the hilarious-looking monster which had a shark for a body and eight tentacles and the comical way of killing it, which involved sticking an explosive device on the sharktopus and needing an access code to trigger it remotely. Lambasting this tacky movie was a good way to bond. Haha.

Compared with our pre-baby years, it's more challenging to find make time for each other. Back then,  we could easily go out, nowadays, movie night means randomly catching a movie (nice or not) on TV and date nights mean dinner at the kitchen. Since my mother-in-law left, we've only been on a real date once, when our good friend Nell volunteered to watch her godson. That was on our anniversary, when we had a lovely dinner at The Canopy at nearby Bishan Park.

I never realized nor even thought of how much impact having a baby has on a marriage until Ziv arrived. A baby just takes so much of our time and energy, leaving us with less to spend on ourselves and our relationship. When you're both exhausted and feel like you've got nothing left to give, it's easy to overlook each other and take each other for granted. Now I can see how a child, which can be a source of immense joy, can also place a strain on a marriage. 

Especially if you don't pay attention. 

Or choose not to.

During the first few months with Ziv, as I grew into the mother I always wanted to be, I almost stopped being a wife. I was always tired and not in the best mood so I preferred sleeping than doing anything else when I'm not taking care of Ziv or pumping. I felt depleted and was going into a shell. I slowly felt I was losing that connection with ze hubby. Sure we got along well. We loved each other. A lot. But I felt I was slowly growing farther and farther from him. We were talking less and if we did talk we talked about Ziv or whatever's happening at work. We rarely spent time together to just be.

I didn't say anything to ze hubby at that time because I knew he was tired as I was. Now I know I should've said something. Good thing I caught myself.

I guess it takes a while to process being a parent and it certainly takes time to integrate that part of you with other parts of yourself. And since it seems that a baby's needs are more immediate and more important, you attend to those first. But I think mom and dad's needs are just as important. After all one of the best things we can give Ziv is the stability that comes from a solid relationship.

I now know I we both have to exert a conscious effort to keep the flame burning. And I don't mean staging grand declarations of love and undying devotion. It may just be asking how the day went and offering a listening ear. Or a hug or kiss out of nowhere. Or an "I love you" blurted out of thin air. Or maybe just staying up a bit later than usual to share some laughs over a B movie.

On our wedding day, three years ago

Yes. We are worth it.

on going back to work

Source: mth2011.tumblr.com via Amy on Pinterest

Last night, ze hubby told me he heard of a good job opportunity. It was an opportunity that fit me well, and aside from that, the benefits the company listed in their job ad were outstanding: high salary, 18 days vacation leave, performance bonus, casual environment. He told me I should apply.

My knee-jerk response was "Ayoko, kawawa naman si Ziv. Baby pa." Just the thought of going back to work and having to leave Ziv to a caregiver made me sad. I haven't even sent a resume and I miss my son already. I imagined all the milestones I won't see and the moments I won't be able to share with him.

But then I thought, aside from being Ziv's mom, I'm a wife. Ze hubby's life partner. Partner, not parasite. As much as I have responsibilities toward Ziv, I have duties to fulfill as my husband's wife too. We could really use a bit of extra cash right now. Okay, lots of extra cash. I'll admit, we're just making ends meet (and sometimes, barely) and ze hubby could use some help in the financial department.

I was torn. 

I told ze hubby, "Ganito pala ang feeling ng nanay." 

I wished I could split myself in two so one half of me can take care of Ziv while the other works. 

At the same time.

I remembered my sister-in-law, who shared in her blog how she cried when she had to go back to work after her maternity leave. I thought of all my mom friends who work and have to leave their kids to yayas or lolas. I thought of my own mom, who worked when all of us were kids. I already have a tremendous amount of respect for working moms, but after yesterday, I respect them even more.

Obviously, I love staying at home and taking care of Ziv every single day. I've never done anything else that I've loved as much as I love being a stay-at-home mom. Honestly, I couldn't care less about having a career. I never had that drive or motivation to be a high flyer. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Haha.

Or maybe I haven't found the job yet. Perhaps another reason I'm not in a hurry to find a job and go back to work is I don't want to am not yet ready to face all the drama involved in figuring out what to do with my professional life. I've been there and done it a couple of times already. Still haven't found the job-that-I-love-so-much-it-won't-feel-like-a-job job.

But then thoughts of all the bills that had to be paid, the home we can buy in the future (hello four-room flat!), and also the adventures we can take (Orlando! Paris! Rome!) if we're a two-income household made me reconsider ze hubby's proposal. I sent my resume. Bahala na si Batman after that.

I'll figure things out another day. For now, I'll be a full-time mom.

diptych #5

My little boy is more aware of the camera (heck, make that everything!) nowadays. I wanted to take a photo of him while he was playing on our bed and he kept on creeping towards me, wanting to grab my camera. The bolster is my attempt at keeping him stay in one place but as you can see, it doesn't do anything. Ziv just went over it like his life depended on it. See that grin on his face? It's his way of saying "Nice try mommy."

weekend highlights

The past weekend was about getting shots, lots of food and zombies.

On Saturday I went to see my gyne so I could have my last shot of HepB and Gardasil. I left Ziv and ze hubby home because I didn't want to disrupt Ziv's napping schedule. Besides, I wanted to spend some time on my own, to take a breather, if you will.

So. At the gyne. As usual, my appointment was at 9-10am, but I was called in at around 11:30. Before giving me my shots, Dr. Ang gave me copies of my medical reports. One was for the pap smear, which was negative for any "intraepithelial lesion or malignancy." Even before mommy passed away of cervical cancer, I made it a point to get a pap smear annually. One can never be too careful when it comes to health.

The other paper my doctor handed me was a histopathology report. She told me she removed a cyst from my left fallopian tube when she performed the C-section. I was taken aback by this information, even thought she's reading someone else's report because she failed to mention this to me when I was still in the hospital and neither did she say anything in the two instances that I went back to her clinic. *Rolls eyes* But I was relieved when she told me the cyst was benign. That's what matters.

She then gave me a sermon about my weight. She said I should be losing weight, not gaining. According to her records, I gained 4kg since I gave birth to Ziv. Well, I've been eating like a breastfeeding mother so I'm not surprised. Haha. The doctor told me to cut my carbs. " I know you Filipinos eat rice for breakfast," she said. I told her yeah that's true but sometimes we eat wholemeal bread and oatmeal too!

Then I get my shots. Dr. Ang told me to give her my left arm. So I did. She nonchalantly poked me with the syringe, then I feel the viscous liquid penetrate my flesh. Ouch. It was painful! I don't know why but she got the idea to check my blood pressure.

She said, "Your blood pressure is still high you know." I thought, "I just got a shot lady. I think my BP's supposed to be high (due to the pain)" but I just told her I periodically check my BP at home and it's always normal. Optimal actually. She doesn't seem to believe me. She told me I had to go back to the waiting room because her nurse was still getting the Gardasil shot.

One patient later, I went back in. I get my Gardasil shot, also on my left arm. It burned when it went in. And it hurt for a while. But I was happy it was all over. Once I get out of this clinic, I don't have to go back. Ever. I'm done with overpriced expensive medical care.

From the clinic, I went to Wisma Atria at Orchard Road so I can have my lunch. I went up to the Food Republic and ate Korean chicken barbecue. It's one of my most favorite meals to eat in Singapore! I was tempted to order a serving of chapchae but I held back. That would be too much food for one person who needs to cut carbs.

Korean chicken barbecue for lunch, and Starbucks for dessert!

After lunch, I went to Starbucks. Ze hubby told me to treat myself and this was it. I ordered a tall caramel macchiato and a blueberry muffin. I drink coffee everyday but to drink it leisurely, with a muffin and while reading a book? That's a luxury. I lingered there for a while, and relished my time alone until it was time to go home. And I was happy to get back to my boys. I missed them! 

They were both napping when I arrived. I was so glad they were both okay. Ze hubby managed succeeded in taking care of Ziv on his own, and Ziv was a happy baby. No one was hurt! Haha. That afternoon, we walked a couple of blocks down to have dimsum for meryenda then stopped by the grocery store to buy some cook-ables. I cooked pork bistek and pinakbet for dinner while dada ended Daddy Care Day by giving Ziv a bath, reading to him, feeding him and putting him to bed.

Ze hubby giving Ziv a bath

The following day, we were too lazy to get our asses out so we stayed in. Ze hubby and I had a The Walking Dead marathon, all of season one and episode one of season two. I'm duwag so when I saw the promo for the series, I knew I wouldn't want to watch it. But ze hubby's interest piqued my curiosity. So when he said he downloaded all of season one, I decided to watch. The show's really well made. I was impressed with the cinematography and I found the writing solid. The acting is good too.  

Ziv eating his puffs; glutinous rice balls and yam paste; black carrot cake; soya milk

 After finishing five episodes, we decided to take a walk and have meryenda at the nearby market. We had glutinous rice balls and yam paste first, but since parang bitin we had black carrot cake. This carrot cake is not a cake and doesn't have carrot. It is actually made of steamed radish and flour batter, and is stir-fried in dark sweet sauce. We knocked them down with cold soya milk. Yum! All this while Ziv snacked on Gerber Graduates Puffs. He loves those!

And that's how we spent our weekend. :)

raising Ziv tidbits

How can I not give in???

Everyday I get glimpses of the kid my son is going to be and the parenting challenges I and ze hubby have to face.

Today for lunch, I prepared rice cereal with broccoli for Ziv. I mixed them well, hoping he won't detect the broccoli taste.

But he did. 

And he made sure I knew he knew there was broccoli in his cereal.

After a baby teaspoon-full of broccoli-laden rice cereal, Ziv gagged. I thought he was going to throw up but he didn't. Once I made sure he swallowed the food and was breathing normally, I offered him another teaspoonful. He willingly opened his mouth but once the cereal reached his tongue, he gagged again. He refused to take another teaspoon of what I thought was an okay-tasting concoction. (Yes folks, I tasted it.)

So I gave up and put off feeding him broccoli for another day. (Like tomorrow. Gerbers can only be refrigerated for 48 hours you know.) In the meantime, I fed him custard with banana and he liked it. No gagging. Marunong di ba?

Hmmm. I wonder how I'd feed him veggies when he's already a toddler. Can't seem to trick him now!

Aside from making him eat his veggies, I also wonder how I'd do in the discipline department.

As I mentioned before, dressing Ziv up after his bath is always, always like being in a wrestling match. This evening wasn't any different. Putting on the diaper was a struggle and I think putting on the onesie on my fidgety baby burned me 100 calories. 

I was getting tired and a bit annoyed so I attempted to make Ziv lie still so I can put on his socks and pajama. I sssshhhhed him with matching pangdidilat.

He stopped fidgeting. 

But then he started to laugh! I sssshhhhed him again and he laughed again! Next thing I 

knew we were playing. 

I guess I have to reconsider my disciplining approach. My son thinks it's funny. But at least I managed to dress him for bed!

parent in the present

We're still five months away from Ziv's first birthday but here I am, excitedly scouring the Internet for party theme ideas, invitation inspiration, balloon decorations and whatever else is involved in birthday parties.
 

And then I read Notes From a Dragon Mom. 

It killed me.

I've experienced loss, but how can a mother deal with the impending loss of a child? I can't imagine how painful that could be. 

I can't imagine life without my Ziv.

Everyday I am thankful for the gift that our son is. Ziv has enriched our lives in every possible way, made us grow up and just gave us another wonderful reason to be better versions of ourselves. I know that Ronan did and still does the same for his parents.

I hope that no matter how stressful this journey becomes for me and ze hubby, we won't forget the lesson that the Dragon Mom shared:

Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.

Halleluyer.

diptych #4

Swingin'

weekend highlights

We had fun this weekend!

On Saturday morning, we walked to Ang Mo Kio Town Garden West because I wanted Ziv to ride the swing. It was around 7:30AM, early by Singapore standards, so we had the playground to ourselves! After that, we headed to McDonald's and had a hearty breakfast.

That afternoon, we went to Nell's apartment to celebrate her birthday. The actual party wasn't going to start until 6PM but since Ziv will be asleep by then, Nell told us we can come earlier. So we went there after Ziv's afternoon nap, around 3PM.

From left: Face-to-face with Ninang Nell; posing by the Christmas tree

Ze hubby and I over-ate again! We couldn't help it, the food was delish! Nell and her housemate, Kat, prepared baked Pinoy-style spaghetti for us and served leche flan for dessert. Yum yum yum!

Ziv was thrilled to see his first Christmas tree! He kept looking at the balls and watched the lights blink. It made ze hubby want to set up our Christmas tree. Till now though we're still thinking of the best spot to set it up. We don't have much space left in our living room!

Then on Sunday, we headed downtown! It's been a while since we've been there. Sometimes we think of going but then the hassle of traveling comes to mind. It's either we take a cab, which is expensive, or take the train, which can be stressful due to the crowds, or the bus, which will take us forever! But yesterday, we decided to take the train since it was faster and cheaper.

Our main mission was to deliver Ziv's onesies to the lady who bought them. But before we met up with her at Suntec, we had lunch at Raffles City then did some shopping at Marina Square. I bought Ziv new sleeveless bodysuits because his old ones are too short for him already. I bought the very same ones though, plain white from Mothercare. Since we were going to pay with vouchers, I decided to throw in stacking cups to add to Ziv's toy collection.

I reminded ze hubby that he wanted to treat me to TWG so after meeting up with the buyer at Suntec, we took a cab to Marina Bay Sands. It's been a while since we had something so fine because having a baby in tow doesn't really go with fine things. But it was Sunday and I thought what a perfect day to have tea! Lucky for me, ze hubby agreed.

The TWG Tea Salon and Boutique at Marina Bay Sands sits beautifully on the bridge, close to the canal. It had this refined but cozy vibe, and is a perfect place to relax after you've shopped at the high-end stores there. We didn't do high-end shopping though; we just wanted to sample their teas and pastries.

I was really impressed with TWG's tea menu. It was a BOOK! There were a lot of teas listed there and it seemed impossible to pick just one! Thankfully, ze hubby pointed me to the daytime tea list, from where I chose the Smoky Russian Tea. It was described as "a gentle smoky tea inspired by the opulence of the Russian tsars, this TWG Tea blend of black teas is perfect for a relaxing afternoon." It got me at "perfect for a relaxing afternoon."

Ze hubby decided to randomize by putting his finger on an item without looking at it. Lady luck picked the Caribbean Voyage Tea for him. It's a "warm and enticing TWG blend of cocoa beans, green almonds and a full-bodied red tea from South Africa."

We also got a slice of cake (chocolate sponge with blueberry cream) and a couple of macarons, which were served on a tiered plate rack. It's wonderful how the simplest things can look posh when they're on a tiered plate rack. Haha.

We waited a few minutes before our teas and pastries were served. Unlike Starbucks or CBTL, teas at TWG aren't served in teabags. They brew them for you and serve them in nice, shiny, rounded teapots. You won't drink them in mugs either. They have proper teacups. Not the fancy English teacups though.

So I take a sip of my tea. Oh. My. Goodness. This is what quality tea tastes like! The flavors were really pronounced, not like the mass produced teas which hardly have any flavor in them. My Smoky Russian was indeed smoky and was quite bitter, but it paired perfectly with the sweet pastries. I had it straight up, no milk, no sugar.

Ze hubby's tea was really interesting. It was the first time I tried a tea that almost tasted like chocolate. It was milder than my tea but it was good too!

We had these macarons: Napoeleon Tea and Caramel, Camelot Tea and Praline, Earl Grey Fortune and Chocolate, 1837 Black Tea and Blackcurrant, Bain de Roses Tea and Lemon Bush Tea. The macarons at TWG are infused with their teas thus the names. I'm not really a fan of macarons but they were good. They were not too sweet but I had a coughing fit after I choked on the Bain de Roses Tea variant! Haha.
 

So what was Ziv doing while we were having tea? Well, first let me say that he was sleepy already and was a bit cranky so we were doing our best to distract him. I tried feeding him so he could fall asleep in my arms but that didn't work. He was too interested in the surroundings. I sat him on my chair where he played with my red bead necklace for a few minutes, until the shiny teapots grabbed his attention. I tried feeding him his peach puree, but he wasn't interested either. I passed him to his dada, who had the brilliant idea of putting Ziv on a chair of his own. That was a stroke of genius because after that, the kid happily played for a good few more minutes. Just long enough for us to wrap up our TWG afternoon.


*****

We started a tradition this weekend: Daddy Care Days! Haha.

Since ze hubby is the breadwinner, most of the baby caring duties fall on my shoulder during weekdays. So in the spirit of co-parenting, last Saturday I asked ordered ze hubby to perform all the activities that made up Ziv's bedtime routine: give him a bath, massage him, dress him, read a story to him, feed him and put him to bed. I'm lucky ze hubby obliged.

The whole routine started at 5PM last Saturday. Ze hubby undressed Ziv in the bedroom and on their way to the bathroom, Ziv peed on him--twice! Haha. We had a good laugh over that while Ziv had a puzzled look on his cute little face.

Ze hubby then gave Ziv a bath, massaged him and dressed him up. He realized how challenging it is to put on Ziv's diaper, onesie, pajama and socks. He read HUG to Ziv, fed him and put him to bed. I gave ze hubby instructions and watched but I tried not to step back. It was his moment. It was their time to bond.

I'm happy to report that ze hubby was successful. Well, he got peed on and Ziv cried before going to bed, but both are part of parenting. I was thrilled when he said he liked doing it and volunteered to do it every weekend and public holidays.
 

Seeing ze hubby be a really fantastic dada made me love him more. My son is lucky. Just like his mom.

bedtime books review

When me and my sister were young kids, my mommy always read to us before going to bed. Our selection of story choices ranged from fairy tales such as Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, to Aesop's Fables, Heidi and The Little Match Girl. Going to bed was a pleasure because mommy read to us. She did the same when my brothers were small too.

Now that I'm a mom, I've picked up that practice. I read to Ziv before I put him to bed. Most of the time, he's more interested in mouthing the books instead of the story, but there are times, like this afternoon, when he seemed really into the story I was telling. I think he's beginning to understand words, if he doesn't already.

We currently have three bedtime/naptime books in rotation, all of which I borrowed from the library:

1) HUG by Jez Alborough

Hug is about baby monkey Bobo who wanders through the forest, seeing pairs of animals embracing each other. At first he's glad that he sees them hugging but later on, he grew sad when he realized that he doesn't have anyone to hug. The story ends happily when Bobo's mom finally finds him and gives him a hug.

When I first picked this up, I didn't know there were no other word in it except "hug." The story is wonderfully told through vibrant illustrations, also done by Jez Alborough. The characters' emotions are expressed through their faces and body language. Even if Bobo doesn't say he's sad, you'll know he's sad because he looks it.

This book challenges parents' storytelling capabilities because it's wordless. Since it's easier for me, I tell Ziv the story in a mix of Filipino and English. I read this to him before his nap, and he was so engrossed with the photos, and I'd like to think, my storytelling too. He actually smiled when mommy monkey found Bobo.

After finishing this story, I always give Ziv a big hug, like the one mommy monkey gave Bobo. :)

2) Daddy Cuddles by Anne Gutman and Georg Hallensleben

I borrowed this book because it's about the expression of fatherly love. The book shows beautifully illustrated daddy animals snuggling with their babies, and at the end, a human father and child. Whenever I read this to Ziv and we come to the last page, I always tell him "That's dada and that's Ziv. They are cuddling!"

3) Good Night, Gorilla by Peggy Rathmann

This is another book that's told almost entirely in colorful pictures, save for a couple of speech bubbles saying "Good night." 

Good Night, Gorilla is about a zookeeper who does his nightly rounds at the zoo. The gorilla stole the zookeeper's keys and followed him as he said good night to the animals. He doesn't realize that gorilla was unlocking the animals' cages! 

As the zookeeper made his way home, the animals followed him and was able to slip into his bedroom. When his wife said good night to him, all the animals answered good night back! The wife lead all of them back to the zoo, but the mischievous gorilla followed her back and slept beside her, pretty much like a little kid who refuses to sleep on his own bed.

Ziv is captivated by the illustrations in this book but I think it's quite long for him. Halfway through it he seems to lose interest. I imagine this book will be good for toddlers though.

letting go

Source: None via Jelle on Pinterest

We've managed to sell a couple of Ziv's used and outgrown things in the past couple of days. I was quite sentimental when Ziv's onesies were sold. It has only been a while since he started wearing those and now we're letting them go. My son is growing--too fast! That reality just hit me and I couldn't help but get a bit emotional about it. I've donated his side-tie tops too, which he wore during his first few weeks, when he was too tiny for anything. I kept just one, for posterity. I might frame and hang it.

We've still a lot to sell, such as the swing, the infant seat, a rocker he never used and other too-small stuff. A part of me wants to get rid of all these so we can free up some space, but another part of me wants to hold on to them. It's too early, but we're pretty sure we don't want Ziv to be an only child. So imagine, if we still had all these when baby number 2 comes, we don't need to buy anything! Tipid!

If you have been reading my blog, you probably know that pregnancy didn't come easy for me. Aside from the difficulty in conceiving, I now have to consider my risk of developing preeclampsia again. Although I've read that a "repeat occurrence is often milder," I am still worried. We're lucky Ziv made it to 37 weeks without any complications, except low birth weight. But what if baby number 2 won't be as lucky? What if I deliver prematurely? Or what if I get seizures or a stroke?

But I'm getting way ahead of myself. I know we should just take this one day at a time. If we're blessed to have another baby, then we'll accept it with gratitude. Right now, it's more practical to let go--of things outgrown and a future uncertain.

running errands with ziv

Today was running errands day! I look forward to days like this because Ziv and I get the chance to go out of the flat and beyond our neighborhood park. But still just around the neighborhood. It just involved walking across the block next from ours then crossing the street. For us flat rats though, it's an adventure! So with Ziv on the stroller, we went off to search for cheap treasures!

First stop was the seamstress. I had my maxi dresses shortened last Monday and picked them up today. I haven't tried them on yet but they look okay. That's the problem with being overweight and short. I can only fit in US or European size dresses but they're always too long. I can't wear them as is unless I want to sweep the street.

From Auntie Seamstress, we then went to bargain center number 1. I bought a self-adhesive rubber protector which I can stick on to our wooden sofa. Ziv is more mobile now and sometimes when he's trying to catch a toy, for example a Lay's Stax tube, that went under the sofa, he ends up bumping his head on the furniture's edge. Hopefully this rubber protector will do its job and prevent Ziv from getting hurt.

I wanted to look around bargain center number 1 but Ziv was overwhelmed (again!) by the gazillion items on the shelves. And I totally get it. Even I, an adult, get overwhelmed by all the stuff available there. But I really love wastelands aka bargain centers. I always end up buying something.

That's why one bargain center isn't enough! We walked to bargain center number 2 where I bought the LED booklight I saw yesterday. It only cost $1.05!!! I bought one because sometimes I want to read in bed but cannot turn on the lamp because it might wake Ziv up. This LED booklight should do the trick. Well, I hope. Maybe I'll try it tonight. Need to catch up on reading the books I borrowed from the library.

We then went to the fruit stand. I bought one avocado and four US red plums for Ziv to try. From there, we made our way home, but we made a detour to our favorite provision shop to get Gardenia.

And that concludes our adventure! I'm looking forward to the next one!

mesh feedin' happiness

I introduced Ziv to the Munchkin mesh feeder two days ago and he was instantly smitten! He loved chewing and sucking on the banana inside, and by the end of mealtime, I got myself a banana-smelling babe! Banana juice was all over his face,neck, arms and hands. I am now thinking of other fruits, and possibly veggies, to put inside the mesh so he can suck all the healthy juices away.

The only downside to this is that the mesh is a bit difficult to clean. I've had to soak and brush and soak and brush just so I can remove all the banana fibers. But that's a small price to pay for a happy baby. :)

diptych #3

Prune puree all over. :)

weekend highlights

We hung out at our neighborhood, Ang Mo Kio, this past weekend. 

On Saturday, we all woke up early and headed out for a brisk walk. We went around the block then did a few rounds at the park to cool down. It felt great to have exercised again! Our 2.3km walk gave me the energy I needed the whole day. I hope I/we could do it again soon. It's quite challenging to find the time to go out and exercise but I know it must be done. We have to be more conscious of our health now that we have a tiny human being who is completely dependent on us.

After Ziv's morning nap, we made our way to Ang Mo Kio Public Library. I returned some books and picked up three new ones. I've begun reading two of them and I find both really interesting. One is about infant brain development and the other is about Magda Gerber's parenting philosophy aka the RIE approach.

From the library, we walked to the post office to mail some stuff and then to AMK Hub for lunch. We celebrated Ziv's seventh month with fish and chips and Hawaiian burger at New York New York. The food was good! I fed Ziv peach puree, which he loved, while we were having lunch. Before heading back, we stopped by the supermarket to grab some Huggies and a bit of food.

Ziv fell asleep on the way home, poor kid. When we got to our flat, we laid him down in his crib so he could nap, but unfortunately (for us) he woke up after half an hour. He was a bit cranky the rest of the afternoon but calmed down when he took him for a walk in the park. He was so happy as he rode his dada's shoulder. We spotted a black cat and Ziv was so fascinated by it. He also had a grand time sitting on his own at one of the benches.

After our walk, I gave him a bath - in the bathroom for the first time - then put him to bed so he could rest.

Ze hubby cooked his version of pork adobo for dinner. It's been a long while since he cooked it last. He simmered the pork first then stirfried it together with some potatoes. It was soooooo good and is just as sinful. It went so well with steamed white rice.

We just lounged at home the whole of Sunday. Ze hubby and I decided to bring out all of Ziv's old stuff, take photos of them and sell them online. If our three-room flat is a person, then it seriously needs to go on a diet. It's overweight verging on obese.

Like me. My goodness. I need to start watching what I eat and really exercise more! I'm actually taking a cocktail of antibiotics and asthma medicine now because the doctor said there's some strong wheezing on my left lung. I've had this cough for a week now and it's not getting any better. I hope with the new drugs the doc prescribed this morning, I'll recover fully. It just sucks to be sick.

sitting up!

From his tummy, with arms stretchd out, Ziv began putting his legs in front of him. One after the other. Then he adjusted his arms, slowly, until his torso was upright. He was sitting! He sat up on his own!

I was so happy and proud of my son's achievement that my eyes welled up. I'm really glad I was there to see it. It was just so amazing to see this tiny person learning how to sit on his own for the first time.

Made me realize the importance of really being there and being fully present for my son. It's during those times that I get to witness milestones - miracles, really - like this one unfold.

dada's boss to the nth power

Dear Ziv,

Yesterday, dada's boss' boss' boss' boss' boss' boss died. His name is Steve Jobs.

Son, he was a visionary and dreamed up awesome things such as the iMac, Macbook, iPod, iPad and iPhone. I'm quite sure by the time you read this, you'll be using any one of his and his company's wonderful creations. Mom is currently writing this on a Dell laptop but oh, I'm begging dada for an iMac.

His other company, Pixar, is responsible for classics like Toy Story, which your cousin Kuya Jake loves. I'll let you watch it when you're bigger.

You've got a lot to learn from dada's boss you know. Here's a video of the speech he made at Stanford University in 2005. Please watch and take whatever lesson you can. He's a better speaker than mom or dada, and I'm sure a more exciting life.

And here's the text just to be sure.

Love,

Mom

happy 7th month Ziv!

Ziv turns seven months old today! 

We're just five months away from his first birthday. Can you believe that? I can't.

I was looking at his first baby photos last night and was just amazed by how much he has grown.

He's much more active now, rolling, rocking on all fours, getting ready to crawl. He actually does a mini crawl, with his legs straight and flat on the floor. He hasn't figured out how to coordinate all the necessary muscles yet but I'm sure he's pretty close. We rented a playpen for him so he could have a safe area to play but he decided he doesn't want to be fenced in so I dismantled it.

He has a rubber play mat, but it seems he's more interested in the white, cold, hard floor. He's got a lot of toys, but he always, always tries to get a hold of my rubber slippers. I noticed he's also more engaged when he's playing with a colander or stainless steel bowl or a turner. He gets bored with the usual baby toys easily.

Changing Ziv's diaper has become a sort of workout for both me and his dad. He's always trying to reach for something, like the wipes or a towel, and usually refuses to lie still.

Bath time has become more fun. For him. Since he can sit in his tub now, he pounces on the water, so often and with much vigor that mommy and the floor are always drenched by the end of bath time!

Ziv also babbles and shouts a lot, and has a range of facial expressions from his I'm-hungry-feed-me-now cry to the I'm-so-lovin'-this-applesauce grin.

And oh he loves his applesauce. And prune puree. And rice cereal. And banana. He loves mealtimes! He eats with us so I hope he gets used to that habit until he's ready to move out.

We've fallen into a fairly regular daily routine (eat-sleep-awake-play) but Ziv is anything but predictable. One night he'll sleep through, the other he'll wake up at 2am, then 3am the next. He keeps us on our toes.

I can only see this whole parenting thing getting more fun as Ziv grows, but also more challenging. Nevertheless, I'm thankful for our lil boy every single day. He truly is a blessing.

Happy seventh month son!

hubby and wife milestone

 Ze hubby and I celebrated our sixth anniversary last September 23. That's not actually our wedding anniversary, but the anniversary of us going on our first date, which turned out to be the day we became boyfriend-girlfriend. Hey, I'm easy that way. Haha. 

But yeah, it's been six years since we first went out on a real date. And since we first kissed. And since we first watched a movie together. Time sure flies when you're having fun.

We're really blessed because our relationship has been devoid of any drama, and all those six years have been very pleasant and peaceful.

And easy. I always use that word to describe our relationship. Easy. Sure we encounter difficulties and challenges, but nothing we couldn't handle.

Everything's easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

I guess when love is real, it should feel that way.

Happy anniversary hubby dear. You know I love you.

More years to come.

motherhood fail

My poor baby fell from the bed today. My goodness. How can I let that happen?

I'll attempt to illustrate my stupidity.

See, I'm in the process of migrating ze hubby and my clothes from our bedroom closet to the other bedroom's closet because we're getting dressed in the other bedroom most of the time. The adults' bathtime usually happens when Ziv's asleep so in order for us to not disturb him, we bring our change of clothes to the other room. Since no one is using that room anyway, my brilliant mind decided to just use it as a walk-in closet slash wasteland, where everything gets dumped. 

But I digress. 

Ziv was on the bed while I was removing ze hubby's clothes from the cabinet. I was constantly checking where he was and for some dumb reason, I judged his being just one roll away from the edge of the bed as okay. Maybe it was because I was just right there beside him. Nothing disastrous could possibly happen, right?

WRONG!

I turned my back for while and when I turn around, he was not on the bed anymore! My poor baby was on the freakin' floor! I didn't hear anything, no thud, no nothing. It was as if I deliberately put him there.

Only I didn't. 

He cried the moment I screamed. I picked him up and comforted him while I checked every part of his body. No injury! He was okay and after a while, I was tickling him and he was being hysterical. Thank God, Ziv's guardian angel was on duty.

How many times have I read to never leave your baby alone on any raised surface? Uhm, possibly a thousand times already. But still, I do it. I always think "Oh, he's not gonna roll that far. He's not gonna fall." Guess what, Kat? One thing babies do best is surprise you. They're like thieves. They attack when you're least careful.
 

I've definitely learned my lesson. From now on, I'll only leave Ziv in his crib. Never mind if he screams his tiny lungs out. At least I can be sure it's only my ears that's gonna hurt.

diptych #2

While Ziv plays, I fold the laundry. 

weekend highlights

Ze hubby and Ziv at IKEA; Ziv having fun eating at McDonald's; me feeding Ziv at Old Town; Ziv and Ninang Nell

We had a busy, busy weekend. 

Aside from the cleaning and the laundry, we did a lot of shopping! For Ziv's stuff! Who else? Hehe.

Our mission was to look for a more cushioned play mat for Ziv. He's attempting to sit now and the carpet + blankie set up isn't cutting it. When he attempts to lift his torso a bit higher than usual then crashes, he ends up crying. I had those numbered rubber mats in mind and we found them at Carrefour. It was only when we went back home that we realized we got a set meant to be used a piko (hopscotch) mat. No wonder one piece was shaped like a half circle. Haha. That is parent-not-reading-the-label booboo number 1.

We also went to Mothercare to get some weaning bibs. The plastic backing on them makes a difference especially when it comes to liquids. Regular bibs can't protect Ziv's onesies from getting wet.

On our way to Marina Square from Suntec, we passed by Payless ShoeSource. I didn't know they had a branch here. I remembered ze hubby mentioning he needed new shoes so we went in and checked out their offering. Ze hubby ended up buying a handsome pair of driving shoes. No, we don't have a car and he doesn't drive. It was comfortable though and we figured he could wear it to work or during weekend walk-a-thons at the mall.

Then on Sunday we went to IKEA to get Ziv a highchair. The lover-of-pretty-things in me dreamt of owning either the Stokke Tripp Trapp or the Baby Bjorn highchair, but the housewife in me knew practicality trumps design. Those nifty highchairs cost $519 and $399, respectively. How could that beat the magnificent 25-dollar value of the IKEA Antilop highchair? We also bought the Barnslig support cushion ($9) and the Antilop tray ($4). The result? Happy, happy baby. And happy baby makes mommy happy too.

While we were at IKEA, we also got a bath mat for Ziv. I also wanted to buy these building beakers for him, and I thought I did until we got home. Turned out I got the wrong box! I got the shape sorter! I wasn't aware they were both called Mula so when I got a package marked Mula, I thought I got the beakers. Yun pala it was the shape sorter. That is parent-not-reading-the-label booboo number 2. Haha.

During the weekend, we also met up with Ziv's Ninang Nell. I don't know if Ziv was just hungry or sleepy but he cried the entire time he was in his Ninang's arms. Separation anxiety? Maybe. But yesterday, while we were at the Mr. Teh Tarik hawker center, Ziv was friendly with the cleaning lady! In fact he was too friendly for my comfort. He was laughing and touching the cleaning lady's arms, even allowing her to kiss him! Ze hubby and I were shocked. This little boy keeps us on our toes talaga.
 

A lot of face stuffing happened during the weekend too. Nasi lemak and chicken curry for lunch at Old Town. Burger and fries at McDonald's. Pasta and fried seafood at IKEA Cafe. Cheese prata and teh tarik at Mr. Teh Tarik. Then tinola for dinner last night. 

Ziv also pigged out on milk and pear puree, applesauce and rice cereal. He really enjoys eating with us. :)

Had so much fun with my boys! Can't wait for Saturday.

just me for a while

Source: houseofhepworths.com via Kristine on Pinterest

I've been up since 4:30, currently pumping while drinking Horlicks. Having noodles for dinner makes me hungry at an earlier hour.

Ziv has been sleeping for 10.5 hours straight for a couple of days now. He sleeps at 6pm-ish and doesn't take a peep until around 4:30. I feed him, change his nappy, then put him back in his crib so he could go back to sleep. I, meanwhile, will attach thy boobies to the pump. After 30 minutes, I either go back to sleep or start my day.

I don't mind early mornings. I've always been an early riser and I really like starting the day before Ziv and his dad are up so I can have some time for myself. These quiet moments don't come by as easily as they used to so they're more precious when they're here. It's during these times when I can reconnect with myself and be me again--neither the mom nor the wife. 

Just ME. 

It is also during these moments when I don't want anything from myself. I don't want me to do the chores. I don't even want me to think about the chores. I just stop and luxuriate in all this, hmm, stillness. It's so peaceful here. No loud sounds, just the ticking of the clock and the humming of the refrigerator in the background. And the rain. Not the harsh, end-of-the-world kind, but the soft, calming kind.

This is the perfect time to meditate. 

And pray.

And then to indulge in a warm cup of coffee.

Times like these make me feel really blessed and happy.