while you were sleep training

Dear son,

You're sound asleep as I write this. I'm sorry if I had to let you cry it out for 20 minutes. You needed to sleep and you need to learn how to put yourself to sleep. I know you don't like being left in a dark room to sleep. It's boring and you'd rather be awake and play with mommy. But your body needs sleep so it can grow. Sleep is good for you!

When I came in to check up on you, believe me, I wanted so badly to rock you so that you would stop crying. It's less torturous to let you fall asleep in my arms than listening to you wail your heart out. Believe me, my heart melted when I looked into your eyes and you gave me a smile that seemed to say "all is right again." I almost cried.

But I don't want to undermine our efforts. Not when I can see you're learning. We can do this. You can learn to fall asleep on your own for naps, just like how you did for bedtime at night. 

Crying it out is so un-attachment parenting but after seeing how Kuya Jake has become such a great napper at age three, I couldn't think of any bad reason not to try that approach. Kuya Jake's alright. He's such a bright boy!

I hope you'll read this when you grow up. And I hope by then you're not suffering from any sleep problems or trying to figure out an underlying psychological trauma (caused by crying it out).

I love you! Sleep tight anak! Sweet dreams!

Love,

Mommy