long time no post

It has been three months since I got here and I am still, so far, unemployed. I knew it was hard to nail a job here, but I didn't think it would be this hard.

Thank God I've overcome "the blues." I went through a lot of sadness during the first half of my stay here. I miss home. I miss my family and friends. I miss my dogs. I miss working (yeah, didn't think I'd say that either).

Having companies not notice or reject me made me doubt my capabilities. It brought out all my insecurities and made me think that maybe I'm not as good as they say I am. I was never really a big fan of myself. Some of my friends are just so great that they made me believe that I am a good editor at may ibubuga ako. (Thanks guys. I wish you were here.) I had to struggle with my inner demons just so I won't lose my spirit.

Even before I got here, I have been sending out applications to Singaporean companies. I got lucky a few times and scored interviews. I just never got lucky enough to actually be offered a job. Well, there's one company but their office was so filthy I just had to turn it down. I haven't stopped putting my resume in circulation and I continuously pray for that one company that may think I am right for them.

In the meantime I try to keep myself entertained, doing chores at home, cooking, watching Oprah and Friends reruns. I am updated with season three of Grey's Anatomy and season one of Heroes. I've acquainted myself with Dr. Gregory House and his three interns, and am getting more paranoid than usual. Who knows, I might have an aneurysm on my leg and don't even know it? Hahaha. Aside from these, I'm in the 44th level of Diner Dash Flo on the Go. It's a game B and I are crazy about.

It's been three months since I moved to this sterile, boring, city-state and it's far from being home. If I wrote this a month and a half ago, I would've said that it's been a complete waste of time. But now I know better. Everyday is a struggle but having spent it with my wonderful and blessing of a husband makes all this not-doing-anything episode all worth it. I also now see this meantime as a chance to think about what I really want to do, what I really want.

Even though I get bored out of my wits sometimes, I have learned to make peace with where I am right now. After all, this is my life.