preparing for marriage

Preparing for a wedding can be challenging and stressful, especially if you're miles from where it's going to be held. It's easy to get lost in all the things that need to be done, the money that needs to be saved, the miles we have to travel, the leaves we have to acquire. And the list just goes on and on. We could get so tied up to making sure all the details of the wedding is perfect that sometimes we lose sight of what really matters--the marriage.

B and I once thought that taking the Marriage Preparation Course is such a chore. We registered for it just so we could get our hands on the certificate required by the church. But, at the end of day one, our attitude was changed. We became interested and was looking forward to the second session.

Each session lasted about four hours and were pretty much the same. Our presenting couple will share personal experiences that had something to do with our topic for the day. Fred and Ruby, our presenting couple, were very open. They shared with us their love story, their struggles, and their mistakes, asking us to not to the same. Reden and I agree that it takes a lot of courage and humility to do that in front of strangers just so you could help them have a married life better than yours. Although their sharing may be a bit boring sometimes, we respect them and appreciate what they do for us. (They even serve us food during the home sessions!)

After the sharing, Fred and Ruby will hand out the Couple Paks. There is a specific Pak for each session. Each Pak discussed three different sections discussing a specific topic. Each section ended with a list of questions that participating couples can answer to help them get to know each other better. Here are examples of the questions we answered: How were problems dealt with in your family? Did your parents have problems handling their emotions?; What does happily married mean to you?; What are the three personal needs that I hope will fulfilled in my marriage?; The thing I like best about your mother is...; What issues have surfaced during your engagement that is a constant source of disagreement between you and your partner?

Reden and I found some questions easy to answer, and some really challenging. Minsan wala kaming maisip, minsan naman a question leads to a serious discussion and meaningful kwentuhan. We both think that if you're serious with the Couple Paks, makakatulong talaga siya. We liked Couple Paks 1 and 2. The third to fifth Paks were a bit too religious and doctrine-based for us.

Although we disagreed with some of the things taught to us during the course, we still learned a lot. Here are some:

- marriage as a sacrament means that we are witnessing for Christ's love together and as a married couple we should serve as an inspiration to others and proof that true love is possible;

- that Reden's perception of me is different from my perception of me and vice versa;

- that sometimes we have to re-evaluate the decisions we have already made;

- that we're really lucky we have great parents and in-laws, and

- that love is a decision you have to make repeatedly.

Aside from that, the MPC made us realize that we are not doing so bad ourselves.