blah blah blah

Almost a month into my new job and everything is still so blah. I'm not excited to go to work and am dreading even just the thought of spending another day with my geeky boss.

Almost a month into this job and I realized that my passion is not in rehashing news about beef or shrimp or animal feed enzymes. Although I have an affinity for agriculture because of my daddy, it just doesn't translate to love for this job.

I am so tempted to hit the search button in my favorite jobsearch sites but am thinking of the leaves I have to take for wedding preps. We're looking at one week in June, a couple of days in October and a whole month at the end of the year. Who would wanna hire someome who plans on taking that much leaves?

This company ain't that bad anyway. There are two Pinays--one in the editorial team with me and one in sales--who are so cool to be with. The locals here are okay too. The management is not so bad either except for my immediate supervisor who doesn't know a thing about positive reinforcement, and journalism. He used to be an English teacher in mainland China and he treats us like students. We have recitations every Tuesday. Although it's good coz it keeps us on our toes, I think it would be better if he doesn't treat us like children.

I don't know if I'll ever find a job I will actually love doing here in Singapore. According to Abhi, a subeditor for the magazine I left and who has been working as such for almost 20 years, this is not a place for journalists. And I believe him.

In the meantime, I will make do with the mediocrity of my so-called career here, as pathetic as it is. No, I'm not sad about it. I'm done being sad. Right now I'm just scared. As in everyday-I-wake-up-at-1am-and-can't-fall-asleep-again kind of scared.