On my sixth birthday, I thought she wouldn’t come. It was dark and it was raining heavily. All my guests are already at our apartment except her. Midway through the party, while the guests were busy eating, we assumed she won’t make it so mom and I went to the local bakery and bought a small mocca cake with a cheap Wonderwoman figurine on top. I was a bit sad because it wasn’t even half as pretty as a Joni’s cake, but it’s better than not having any cake at all. When we arrived back at our apartment, she was there. And at the table was my Snow White-themed cake with a number six candle waiting to be blown.
She was also the aunt with the Barbie collection. I loved vacationing at her apartment in Makati because of that. I can’t remember if she allowed me to play with them, but I did. I just made sure to be careful and put them back as they were when I found them: their hair untangled and both their tiny shoes still on, in their boxes on the shelf.
And she was the aunt who brought us to Tinseltown. That was how Makati used to be during the holiday season in the 80s. Trees along Ayala and Makati avenues were wrapped in colourful lights, with parols and angels, bells and trumpets. To a little Laguneñas eyes, that was awesome.
Then there were the fireworks during the New Year. There was nothing like it back in Laguna. There were trumpillos and fountains, both of which were more dazzling than our usual luces and Roman candles. The following New Year, I think I begged my dad to include both on our fireworks repertoire back home.
She was the aunt who brought us to Enchanted Kingdom when it was newly opened. And to Kenny Rogers. And Baguio.
She was the aunt who let me spend time with her in Makati, taking me to her place of work, SM and Quad. She amazed me with her English, and her heels and her CD collection. She travelled to Brunei and the US. She even wanted all of us to go visit Disneyland Hong Kong.
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.
Tita Malou was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. I didn’t know about it until she was already undergoing chemotherapy. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see her during that difficult time in her life. I guess I took her for granted. But she was a strong woman and she overcame that challenge on her own, with very little assistance from us.
After two or three years, she had a remission. She just migrated to the US during that time when she experienced chills and had fever for an unknown reason. The doctors confirmed the cancer was back, this time in her bone marrow. She went back to the Philippines to get the necessary treatments, and for a while, she seemed to get better. The whole family was even able to go on a trip to the beach that summer. My aunts, uncles and cousins from the US and Dubai all flew back so we can all spend a little time with her.
At that time, I had my own scare too. I was diagnosed with a lump on my right breast but fortunately, the biopsy result showed it was benign. When I told her about my surgery, she spoke to me as a caring and worried aunt. I’m sure she told me a lot but the only thing I remember now is one syllable: “tsk.” Unfortunately, I can’t recall what that was for.
She was confined at the Makati Med for several months and I visited her a couple of times. Sometimes her friends would come over to pray over her, chat with her and just be with her. One time I caught her while she was having her chemo. She was so weak it was painful to look at her. She wasn’t the Tita Malou I knew. She wasn’t the aunt who brought Joni’s cakes, the fashionable Makati girl, the aunt who was strict but caring, the aunt who brought us to Enchanted Kingdom and Baguio. I felt she was slowly fading away.
She died the month of my birthday and I was there when her body was cremated at the Loyola Chapels. I was with dad and my Tita Liza. I cried that day but I was relieved too because finally, she was free and she can finally be with God and my Lolo, her father.
My Lola used to ask “bakit ba naman yun ay napabayaan?” referring to my Tita Malou’s breast cancer. Perhaps if the lump were detected before it became cancerous, things would’ve been different and she would still be with us now. I also regret not having spent a lot of time with her and not being able to really get to know her. But the past is over and what happened is done.
Let’s avoid could’ve beens and act when we can – now. I encourage you, my lady friends, to check your breasts regularly each month and undergo ultrasound scans or mammograms annually. Do it before it’s too late.
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
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