nung nagbalikbayan si jec

We had dinner last night with Jec at Gerry's Ayala Center. It was nice to catch up with and update Jec about what has happened since he left the Makati office. I missed him a lot. Actually, when he first came here at the office last Friday, I could barely contain my joy. Nagtatatalon talaga ako sa tuwa. And I hugged him too, although not as tightly as I wish I did.

We met Allen, Jec's significant other, last night. He was really nice and instantly clicked with the group and made chicka. I saw how much Allen and Jec loved each other and how happy they are to be together (fyi, they've been together five years). I wonder how Allen copes with Jec's absence. It must get lonely sometimes. Buti na lang Hong Kong's not too far from here.

Jec told us about his pleasant and not-so-pleasant experiences in HK. He's been living there for only about two and a half months pero parang ang tagal na. It seems he has adjusted to HK life already.

I've always admired Jec. He was masipag, taking on a full-time job here and did tutorials on the side. He was organized; he never seemed ngarag even if he was. He knew how to handle his finances too. Idol! =)

Anyway, after Jec updated us about what's going on in his life, it was my and Selena's turn to tell Jec how our present relationships came to be. We had a no-holds-barred kwento and kinilig naman maigi si Rhea at Tracy as if they were watching a a romantic comedy film. Nakakatuwa silang dalawa.

I love having conversations that, aside from letting me know people better, leave me with new things to ponder about. We had those last night. There were also a lot of laughter--the kind we used to have kapag nagbabastusan kami dati. As in true blue halakhakan na walang patumangga. Nakakatuwa lang.

And nakakamiss.

I wish we can laugh that way more often.

******

Take care Jec! Thank you sa libre!

E-mnail ka lang kapag kelangan mo magde-stress.

Hope to see you on your birthday.

Mwah!

******

Denice, Dave, Kitch, Rey and B, sana next time kasama na kayo. =)

soy azul

According to Tickle.com's quiz, I am the color blue.

True enough, I value trust and loyalty and I prefer "connecting deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances." I'm not good with small talk kasi (or maybe I don't put much importance in it because I prefer nga deep connections) and find it difficult to break the ice.

*******

I survived Monday and completed a task. I'm in a good mood today. Hopefully it'll run through the rest of the week.

Till tomorrow!

why i didn't go mainstream

I took up journalism in college because I knew I liked writing. What I didn't know was that journalism isn't just about writing. It involved a whole lot of other stuff that took the fun out of, er, writing.

When you take up journalism, people usually think you want to become a reporter. I thought that too. But when internship began, that's when I realized that it wasn't my kind of thing. What's ironic about it was that my education was paid for (in full) by a major broadsheet.

As a scholar, we were required to work for the newspaper if they "summoned" us. Since I didn't want to do anything with newswriting, I prayed so hard that the company won't call me or else it's either I work for them or pay them back. Good thing they didn't call. I was so relieved.

I feel journalism's too big for me. I don't think I can handle the pressure of delivering information that can change people's perceptions, affect their choices and decisions. That requires a huge amount of responsibility and I'm not sure if I can handle it.

I'm also too selfish for this type of work. Journalism requires devotion. It's a vocation. It's like being a doctor: You're on call all the time, even until the wee hours of the morning or on holidays and weekends. You must be really committed to the job if you're willing to give up days you're supposed to spend with family and friends.

Aside from that, I really do not want to be exposed to homicide and rape cases, robberies, corruption in government agencies, etc. I don't want to be jaded. I still want to believe there's hope for this country and I think seeing people killed or violated some way every single day of your working life is just too emotionally draining. The physical exhaustion I can take. At least naipapahinga yun.

I'm afraid that being exposed too much to the harsh realities of living in the Philippines might turn me into a hard, numb person. I worry that I will just stop feeling things and begin seeing them merely as a news item.

But someone's gotta do it and I respect all the good, responsible, true-blue journalists. I admire my friends who have chosen to do something that's almost larger than life. Astig kayo!

As for me, I'll be content doing what I do, which is a writing and editing for a trade magazine.

For now.

another "last day"

It's been barely two weeks since B left and again it's someone's last day here at the factory.

It's not a a very pleasant thing to experience, seeing people leave. Of course I understand that everyone moves on and that change is the only permanent thing in this world. It's just that I was never really good with goodbyes.

One of the major reasons I was able to last two years here is my best friend and the friends I made.

I've known Marge since freshman year in college. She was my blockmate and my thesis partner. Marge is the culprit behind my being EETA's 15th floor correspondent.

But before that, there was Dani. She was my teammate and we got to know each other better through yosi sessions when we shared our hopes, fears, angsts. She became a close friend.

When she left, EETA became "my team." (Not that I have anything against my real team. It's just that there are persons you effortlessly click with right away.) Because of them, I didn't have to endure eating lunch alone at the cafeteria. Marge (when she didn't have a lunch date with her SO), Reden (who's now my B), Dave, Denice, Jec, Rey, and later, Selena, became my constant lunch buddies. Minsan sabit si Kitch at si Anthony.

This lot was hilarious. All we did was talk and laugh and talk and laugh some more. Being with them made stressful work days bearable and to an extent has helped keep me sane.

Now they've all gone save for Marge and Selena and I can't help but feel nostalgic. We shared really good times.

I miss the e-mail loops and the mp3 and jpg exchanges. I also miss our lunches at New Bombay, Old Spaghetti House, Jollibee, McDonald's and the Citibank Tower canteen, our videoke parties and even our Makati Ave-Ayala Ave. after-work walks. Makati is a cold place when you're alone.

Oh well, life's like that. Sooner or later I'll move on myself. Ganon naman tayo lahat, we're constantly searching for "greener" pastures, for places and things that will make us the persons we should be. That's human nature and it's not bad at all.

Sometimes being the one left behind is just hard to bear. But then, there are new friends to make. After all, this is not the end. There will be opportunities for us to see each other again.

Life. Must. Go. On.

******

Denice, farewell and good luck to you!

We'll surely miss our Tita D!

brighter than sunshine

This is by Aqualung and it describes what I feel for B. Mushy ako. =)

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

happy me

My close friend G and I had a major bonding session last Friday. The skyline of Metro Manila served as our backdrop as we chose to make tambay at my dorm's rooftop.

We talked about our lives--past, present and future. We talked about our fears, hopes and dreams. We talked about everything while we drank San Mig Light, munched on chips and smoked (I, the actual cigarettes while she, second-hand. I know, I'm a bad friend).

G and I have lots in common, especially when it comes to our love lives. I won't talk about details here. It's enough to say that we've both found our soul mates and are both very happy.

******

Speaking of happiness, another college friend of mine, J finally has a boyfriend. After a couple of misses, I'm glad he has found someone (yes, he's a he). He deserves to be happy.

******

This is the first normal working day I've had in two weeks.

I was finally able to get some sleep and now I feel better. Pagod at antok lang pala ako kaya ako bad trip about work these past few days. Aside from that, it was that time of the month.

As B told me, although there are reasons to be sore about the job and some company policies, it's not reason enough to grow lazy and let the quality of my work decline. After all, I am lucky to be employed.

There. I have put grumpy employee Kat to sleep. I hope she won't wake up soon.

sore me

I really need to get a massage soon. I'm so friggin' tired.

Too bad, our boss told us last week that we can't use our bonus to avail of spa treatments anymore. He said that according to the "management," going to the spa is not a team-building activity and that it is taxable. I don't really understand nor care about the technicalities behind that but I sure feel sore about it. It's our bonus and they shouldn't dictate how we'll spend it.

We've been working our asses off for months. We've saved our bonus for a day of pampering, then they'll say that it's not allowed? No raise na nga, no spa pa.

Gosh. I was looking forward pa naman to a volcanic rock massage.I guess I just have to pay for it myself.

Haaayyyy.

happy four B

I've seen your face a thousand times
Have all your stories memorized
I've kissed your lips a million ways
But I still love to have you around

I've held you too many times to count
I think I know you inside out
And we're together most days
But I still love to have you around

You're the one I want and it's not just phase
You're the one I trust, our love is the real thing

--The Real Thing, Gwen Stefani

We've been together four months and there are times when it still feels so surreal. I can't believe I've been blessed to find the perfect one for me.

Thanks for making me very happy and keeping me sane.

I love you.

high grades, honors, etc.

One of my editors just talked to me about my performance for the second half of 2005. I'm glad to know that my editing score went up by 2.3 points from the first half of last year. He set a pretty high target for me for the first half of 2006. I have to increase my score by at least 3 points. He said he's confident I can reach the target and be among the "top" editors.

Pressure ito! Hehehe.

I really appreciate getting feedback because at least I know where I'm at. Aside from that, I get to learn a lot in terms of grammar and style. I really don't care so much about the scores as much as I do about the quality of my work.

Anyway...

Grades make me feel like I'm back in school.

I was not a grade-conscious student. I never really pushed myself to be part of the honor roll. It sort of just happened. (Yabang!) I studied and did what I could. If my grades were high enough to qualify me as an honor student, good. If not, it wasn't big a deal. I kept that attitude until my final years as a student.

I don't know if I was just lazy or if it wasn't in me to be competitive. Or maybe my priorities lay somewhere else. Socials, perhaps? =)

I never put much emphasis on academic honors because I never believed that it was a measure of a person's success. I always thought a person's relationship with other people and the general quality of his life says more about him than anything. If you managed to get to the top without stepping on other people's toes, then I'll probably like you.

Even if I didn't care, however, I was always happy to be recognized as an outstanding student. It gave me--and my parents--pride. I love making them happy. It's addictive. But that deserves another blog post.

Happy weekend everyone!

my sentiments exactly

give me one reason to stay here
and i'll turn my back around

---Give me one reason, Tracy Chapman

******

Thank God it's Friday! This has been the longest week ever!

I'm finally going to be able to spend quality time with B.

Can't wait. =)

something beautiful

I love this particular song by Robbie Williams. I dedicate it to everyone who's lost, hurt, tired and lonely.

You can’t manufacture a miracle
The silence was pitiful - that day.
And love is getting too cynical
Passion’s just physical - these days
You analyse everyone you meet
But get no sign, the loving kind
Every night you admit defeat
And cry yourself blind

If you can’t wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you’re lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can’t control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won’t leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won’t be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way

The dj said on the radio
Life should be stereo, each day
And the past that cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful, you just couldn’t wait
All your friends think you’re satisfied
But they can’t see your soul no, no, no
Forgot the time feeling petrified, when they lived alone

this day in history

This day 24 years ago, the person who were to become my best friend was born.

Happy birthday Marge.

May you ingest more alcohol, inhale more nicotine and consume more high-cholesterol foods this year. When you're sober, may you see more mountains, valleys and beaches. Let's make it a year-long party.

Thank you for being a fabulosa friend.

I love you.

monkey business

B left me something to remember him by after he's gone from the factory--a huge monkey stuffed toy. I was so surprised when I found it sitting underneath my desk on Monday morning that I almost cried. Well, I did. Just a little. It didn't help either that my teammates were adoring the thing.

Now I'm taking him home so we can cuddle and snuggle. But I wish he could cuddle and snuggle back, like the guy who gave him to me. They may not exactly look alike, (mas pogi si monkey noh), but the real thing's still better. Besides, I prefer my men tall and dark, not short and pink.

Hihi.

Till tomorrow.

SM-aholic

I love SM. SM Makati to be exact. Eversince I was a kid, my mom and dad would take us shopping there during the Christmas season and every June, at the start of classes. I would get excited when I see the familiar SM sign in blue and white. Even at 6 years old, SM already stood for shopping paradise.

Now I'm 24 and I still turn to SM for my needs--groceries, clothes, shoes and kikay stuff. Yes, kikay stuff is a necessity to me!

SM's kikay loot is fabulous. You can expect to find anything you need to prettify. There's lotsa accessories, makeup, perfume, skin and hair products, etc. They're all there--from the cheapest to the most expensive brands.

Aside from kikay stuff, SM offers a great selection of clothes. Of course, nothing beats my favorite boutiques BAYO, Kamiseta, Celine and Maldita, but in times when I can't use my credit cards (like now), I turn to SM. I'll surely find something cheap and decent to wear there. SM provides a less expensive alternative to faux fashionistas like me.

They also have a range of footwear--wedges, ballerina flats, kitten heels, stilettos, boots and tsinelas! When I'm not allowed to check out shoes in Celine (they're an investment when you buy them from there) or when I'm trying to resist the urge to purchase Havaianas (promise, it's so hard to resist the temptation sometimes!), I go to the ever reliable SM to buy myself Parisian flats or flipflops from Planet or Banana Peel.

And, of course, when there's shoes, there's bags. There's a lot of bags to choose from in SM. I do not buy bags as much as I buy shoes or clothes but when I need one in a trendy color, I shop in SM. Last night I bought myself a plum bag from Secosana and it cost only P290. That amount wouldn't even buy me a wallet If I were to buy from Celine or Girbaud.

Usually, when something comes cheap, it is assumed that the quality is low. But stuff from SM, surprisingly, last longer than expected, which makes shopping there really worthwhile. You just have to be patient enough to scour through a couple of floors and a lot of racks, and surely, you'll find what you're looking for.

******

Latest SM finds:

Brown ballerina flats with rust buttons: P399
Plum ballerina flats with rust ring and buttons: P399
Plum Secosana bag: P290

And, can I just say that I didn't swipe any of my cards?

buhay si katzee!

Hello fans and non-fans.

I'm back.

******

So why create a blog again?

Things have been stressful at work lately. The workload has doubled and no, I don't have lots of free time on my hands. I just want to keep myself from ranting (too much) about work to my boyfriend or friends and I thought it would help if I started talking to the world again.

Aside from that, my boyfriend (you all know who he is) has left the factory and he has left a huge void (pun intended) in my everyday worklife. No more kor breaks, no more one-hour meryendas, no more empty elevators (*wink*). He has been my stress ball (again, pun intended, in a non-kinky way) for the past three months and him leaving is a little bit hard to take. I miss him to bits!

Hopefully, this venture will be more fruitful than the previous ones (now I do feel like an editor for a trade magazine). Here's hoping I can dodge another memo.