the milk bar is out of business

You served us well dear pump

Today, I put my pump back in its box. I've actually stopped pumping when we got back from Christmas vacation but it's only today, almost two months later, that I got to store it.

It's bittersweet. Weaning from breast milk. I'm happy that I have more free time on my hands now that I don't need to be attached to my pump several hours of the day. But I feel a bit sad too because Ziv no longer gets his nourishment from something that comes from me.

Pumping breast milk has given me the confidence I needed to be a mom. I didn't enjoy having to set aside time to sit down and pump, but I derived satisfaction from it. My ability to do it made me believe that I was and am capable of providing the best for Ziv. Giving my child something I worked hard at empowered me. I'm thankful I was able to do it up to Ziv's 10th month.

I don't have plans of selling my pump just yet. If baby number two comes and she won't latch like her brother, I already know what to do.

back to normal...almost

My in-laws flew back to the Philippines last Sunday and things at home are slowly going back to normal. With a soon-to-be-toddler though, what "normal" is, is ever changing.

Ziv has found delight in walking, albeit with a chair or walker to support him. He hasn't learned to do it on his own yet but I know he will pretty soon. He refuses to be confined to his playpen and prefers to roam around the house so he could explore every nook and cranny. 

Ziv loves to check out the TV and cable box and the shoe cabinet, and he always wants to crawl towards the kitchen. It's quite tiring to keep an eye on him and follow him around! Every time I feel stressed out though, I always think that I very much prefer him to be healthy and active than to be sick and lethargic.

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Source: meh.ro via Anna on Pinterest

I had an impacted wisdom tooth extracted last Saturday. I wouldn't have had it done but it was swollen and painful so I thought it would be better I just get it over with. 

Unfortunately, up to now my tongue and the area surrounding the operation site are still quite numb and tingly. I read in the Internet that tongue numbness could last for 6 months or forever! But I'm quite relieved to know that when you feel pins and needles on your tongue, the damage is almost always temporary and would probably heal in a couple of weeks. I hope the dentist would be able to shed some light on this when I see him on Saturday.

I was irritated by the whole tongue situation for a couple of days but now I'm trying to let it go. I'm just praying it would completely heal soon.

dreams and reality

On the last weekend of January, we visited the National Museum to see Dreams & Reality, an exhibition of paintings, drawings and photographs from the Musee d'Orsay. The works were done between 1848 and 1914.

As I walked through the exhibition, I found myself drawn to the works of Claude Monet.

Woman with a Parasol Facing Right (1886) and Regattas at Argenteuil (1872)

I was drawn to the soft palette used in these two paintings. I also loved the movement that was expressed in them. I can't see it, but I can tell Monet did the first painting on a windy day. Just look at the woman's dress, her scarf and the grass too. There's movement in the other painting as well--the sails being blown by the wind and the fluidity of the water. Monet definitely enjoyed relaxing days in France by the looks of these masterpieces.

Another painting I loved was this:

Young Woman On The Beach

It is by Philip Wilson Steer, a British artist. Again, I loved the pastels and the movement in this painting.

There were other outstanding pieces in the exhibition but the one I really looked forward to seeing was this:

Starry Night on the Rhone, 1888-1889

I've always wanted to see a painting by Vincent Van Gogh and this? This is it. I teared up a little when I came face to face with this masterpiece.

Van Gogh was intrigued by the effects of the night on colors and in this painting, he showed the stars, the faint lights of the city and their reflection on the river. When you look closely, you'll see the wide, energetic brush strokes.

I am not an art scholar so I don't know anything about the technical brilliance behind this paintings. All I know is that I was touched by these somehow. They made me reflect about God and how He makes himself known through works of art. How can I not believe in God when human beings such as Monet, Steer and Van Gogh are able to produce works as magnificent as these? Those inspired brush strokes couldn't have been done by man alone.

The paintings also made me reflect on the passage of time. Just imagine, more than a hundred years ago, Van Gogh sat on the bank of the Rhone with his palette, canvas, easel and brush and did something like this. More than a century has passed and yet the feeling of that or those nights that inspired Van Gogh are as real as they were.

Hmmm. I wonder how I'd feel when I finally see the Monalisa.

11 months!

Ziv has been making us happy for 11 months today!!! 

This morning at the park

At 11 months, Ziv:

- loves finger foods. He prefers to eat by himself than be spoon-fed. At lunch today, he ate elbow macaroni with creamed spinach then had sliced papaya for dessert. He finished everything I put on his tray!

- smiles like there's no tomorrow. A few months back, Ziv was so weary of strangers. Now he's so social and even smiles at people he doesn't know.  He loves to watch kids play too!

- is more active than ever. He NEVER stays put during diaper changes. No, scratch that. He doesn't stay put for anything! He sits, crawls, stands, sits, crawls, stands over and over and over. 

- has four teeth. Well, technically, he has 3.25 teeth. One of his upper central incisors hasn't fully come out yet.

- has mastered cruising.

- knows how to get what he wants. He raises his hands when he wants to be carried and twists his body when he wants to be carried a certain way.

- babbles and shouts. He says mamamama, ba, aba, aaaaaaaaaah. He also makes a lot of sounds with his mouth.

- sleeps through the night and sometimes he does not. But I don't mind. I'm just glad that he knows how to sleep on his own. I just put him in his crib and he knows what he's supposed to do.

Ziv's growth and development has been fascinating to watch. If there's one thing I learned in the past 11 months, it's that when it comes to babies, nothing is permanent. Everything is just a phase. I think that fleeting quality makes every moment even more special. It's also that impermanence that makes me want to be here every minute.

Grow up, son. But not too fast!

the catch up post, part 2

January is over and I have yet to wrap up my catch up posts! Seriously, someone stop the clock!

December 27

We made our way back to San Pablo City. Ziv threw up the morning of our departure from Calapan but I thought it was just one of those episodes. I didn't worry about it and pushed through with our travel plans. Ziv did well during the trip back. He didn't throw up while we were at the fast craft.
 

Daddy picked us up at the Batangas Pier. We had lunch at the Tree House Restaurant before making our way to San Pablo City. When we were almost home, Ziv threw up again. That's when I started to be concerned, but not so much to stop us from going to the mall. Ziv threw up again before going to bed that night.

December 28

Ziv playing with Lolo and his gift; with the Martinez family

Tita Thet and family came by to see us. It was just a quick visit though because we had to travel to Sta. Rosa to meet up with Ninang George, and later, Dada's friends. Ziv threw up that morning but he wasn't showing signs of illness, plus he was able to keep down some breast milk, so we decided to push through with our plans.

With Ninang George and Dada's friends

When we got to Nuvali at Sta. Rosa, we met with Ninang George first. We had lunch at Conti's. Before our food came though, Ziv had a major, major blowout. The poop was loose and he got it all over his butt, lower back and thighs. Poor thing. Ze hubby and I were overwhelmed and got in a frenzy while changing Ziv I didn't notice I got some poop on my dress! Anyway, we got it done eventually. I had to wash the changing mat and all of Ziv's clothing. We didn't lose our appetites though and ate our lunch with gusto.

After that, we said goodbye to Ninang George then went to Italianni's to have lunch part 2/meryenda with ze hubby's friends. While there, I fed Ziv a jar of Gerber then 150ml of breast milk. I was relieved when he didn't throw up. From Italianni's, we walked to Serenitiea for more chika. 

We were able to go home that evening without any puking episodes so I thought maybe now that he pooped, the worst is over. But when it was time for bed, Ziv threw up again.

December 29

I can't remember if we were able to sleep the previous night but when Ziv woke up in the morning, he was weak and cranky. He wasn't able to keep anything down that I started using a huge bath towel as a bib while he was feeding. I decided to take him to the pediatrician later that morning.

We went to Dra. Oro, who was my and my siblings' pediatrician. When she saw Ziv she said to just take him to the hospital and have him hooked up to an IV as he was already dehydrated. 

We went home to pack some things then went to the San Pablo Medical Center ER. The attendant was able to check Ziv but Daddy and ze hubby found out that there were no private rooms available. If we wanted to have Ziv confined, we'd have to stay in a ward. I balked at the idea so I we checked out the Community Hospital. Same thing, no private rooms available. We moved on to the Doctors' Hospital. Same story, but they said we can get wait listed then just transfer to a private room in the afternoon. I almost signed up but when I checked the ward, I changed my mind. I told them we'd just go home and call later to see if we can get a private room.

On our way home, we stopped by the Community Hospital ER again. Fortunately, someone checked out early and a room was available! We were relieved! But when the doctor checked Ziv, he said we can just monitor him at home and instead of hooking him up to an IV, we can just give him Pedialyte. He also prescribed medicine for diarrhea and fever, just in case Ziv gets them and an anti-bacterial. So before heading back, we stopped by the pharmacy and got all those.

Ziv was super tired so I put him to bed when we got home. The doctor advised to limit his milk and food intake and just give him Pedialyte. I did exactly that. However, when Ziv woke up, he was starved. I gave him a few ounces of milk but it wasn't enough. He complained! I gave him Pedialyte instead. So glad there's a fruit flavored version of this. He gulped it like there was no tomorrow!

We didn't have much rest that evening as Ziv kept waking up out of hunger. But good thing though, he wasn't throwing up anymore! Yey!

The following morning, Ziv woke up hungry, but in a better condition than the previous day. After 24 hours of zero vomiting, I felt it was safe to feed him milk again. I didn't give him a full feeding though just to be safe, but that evening, he was taking and keeping his normal milk feeds in. I was so happy Ziv was okay again!

December 30. Ziv was making faces again!

This episode scared me! It was the first time Ziv got sick and it had to happen in the Philippines! I wasn't worried about the competence of the doctors but the sight of the facilities made me uneasy. They were old and seemed outdated. And the ward? My goodness. I don't know about the other hospitals  but the four-bedder at Doctors' Hospital was cramped. Baka lalo pang magkasakit ang anak ko dun! I'm really thankful Ziv was able to recover without need for hospitalization. It would've been so stressful.

December 31

We had New Year's Eve dinner at my Tita Gina's home but we had to leave early because Ziv was already super sleepy. I also snoozed for a bit and woke up in time for the fireworks. 

January 1

Heard mass with Daddy, visited mommy then had lunch at home.

Just happy to be with my family.